Man, you know you fucked up when your mom is down on the floor pulling you out of the fight.

What if they trade for Big Dick Nick this offseason?

I just assumed they gave him the date that Bill was retiring, why else would you stay on?

Has anyone said Eddie the Eagle yet?

That’s what Ric Flair gets for hard timing the Eagles.

That man, while in the wrong and should be punished, is a god damn hero and it’s too bad he didn’t make it five feet further.

This man was seriously injured, can’t we give the puns a break for once?

I’m glad your daughter got better. Fuck cancer.

A lot of salt gathering between those team. Salt is good.

My wife is in a coma.

That’s ok because you’re their best seller.

Not only do we ask our kids how their days were, we ask them to name something good and something bad that happened. This gives them a chance to bring up something that might be bothering them with less pressure than just bringing it up out of the blue. They don’t always answer, or they might mumble something, but…

We spend a lot of time in the car and have taken to listening to audio books together. We just finished The Great Gilly Hopkins, this might be a good one to start.

My daughter is 12 and loves to read and is a fantasy fan. She is, what I would call, an advanced reader so she might be able to handle it. I guess I should probably read it first.

What’s the age range of the fantasy series?

If it doesn’t have a hotdog on it how can it be considered a sandwich?

You mean an entire offseason?

The early to mid-90s Chiefs would like a word with you.