My two year old runs to the terrace every morning and screams in his thick Queens accent, “Get atta hea!” at the pigeons as if it’s always the first time. Ah, toddlers. Ah, city kids.

Last year I volunteered at the community garden outside the public school in my neighborhood. When we pulled up the carrots, I swear, those kids were about to faint from the surprise. “THEY GROW IN THE DIRTS!” “WHAT ELSE IS UNDER THERE?” “IS THERE CANDY?!”

they are very cute kids. we can be honest and say that some kids just aren’t as cute as others, but these are like the top dog kids of cute kids.

When I dropped my kid off at school today, all the kids on the playground were standing around a toad. Marveling at it, breathlessly amazed, all of them, like as if the toad were breathing fire. When my daughter saw this (very average sized, not at all extraordinary) toad, she shouted “WOOooooowwww!” like she had…

You cared enough to comment over your disdain.

Lol, I give enough of a shit to click on the article

Balloons are Having A Year!

Is it just me or is she seriously channeling the Queen here?

Yeah...

Or a significant other, a friend, another relative? Nobody did a wellness check on this blind woman?

How terribly sad to not have *anyone* miss you. Not a friend or sibling or co-worker. Not even your own mother who thought you moved out and then didn’t worry that you never ever called.

This is the first thing I read today. I’m going back to bed.

Whoa! I thought I’d seen them all, but that 2nd picture is a new one. Even that guy on the end seems to be looking at them thinking “WTF?”

Looks like she’s giving him a god damn lap dance and there’s people looking at them like “WTF?!”.

I have never seen that second one and now I am scarred for life. At what age does a woman stop sitting on her fathers lap? In tiny shorts. While looking like she’s grinding a bit?

It barely even matters at this point. I don’t like Hillary, she’s not the candidate I’d have chosen and I think she’ll be a mediocre president but the fact that she isn’t polling at 80-90% has already deeply shaken my faith in this country. Obviously the ramifications of a Trump victory are still so scary that I want…

Which is worse... being the daughter of a billionaire who he wants to fuck or being the daughter of a billionaire who doesn’t acknowledge your existence?

I feel less bad for Tiffany. She is definitely excluded by Ivanka and Beavis and Butthead, and that has to be really hard. BUT - and although this definitely does not make up for having a living clump of cat hair as a father- she has a little more freedom to do what she wants with her life while being bankrolled by…

The best royal driving story is how the Queen drove King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia around at top speed around the royal estate. He was not accustomed to women driving and was very nervous. She was a WWII mechanic and is an excellent driver.

Can we take a moment to discuss all of the no fucks the Queen has over wearing a bright green suit? She is my fashion idol.