I hate to break it to you, but:

Tertiary q: why does this man look like alt-right Jon Snow

its the growth that’s missing off the top of her head up there.

what ariana meant, and i hate that i’m always being forced to be the voice of a generation or pervy ursines up in here, is this:

Every time there is an opportunity to lay bare his incompetence and fundamental indecency, and to point out the behavior rendering him unsuitable for public office, I will do it.

I am giggling like a total lunatic at that little throwaway explanation. Need to work “I’m a fucking prophet or something” into conversation somehow.

Gonna plug the latest creation by the Ted Cruz Zodiac Killer shirt’s creator.

NBC should cancel The Apprentice. Drumpf is executive producer and he would go apoplectic. NBC should give Arnold another job, a better job, one that plays up his charisma.

I was reading the NY Times the other day and they made a really quietly smartass comment essentially pointing out that, as much as Trump likes to refer to them as the “failing New York Times,” they are also clearly one of his main news sources. If he would stop watching SNL and rage-stroke tweeting about it Every.…

It’s funny how after the election we all joked that Pence was Trump’s insurance, because nothing could be more horrible than the thought of President Pence.

They should do a skit on SNL about his reaction to a skit. Go full meta.

In my wildest dreams, Barack stands his ground on January 20th and the FBI/CIA/military all back him to give us another four years. But then I remember that he’s earned his peace and even if he tried, Michelle would probably march him out at gunpoint... but if any of the Secret Service felt like pulling a Caligula, I…

He really can’t resist, can he? He knows that every week Baldwin’s gonna tear him a new one, and he knows he can’t handle it, and yet he still watches.

I bet he is most worried about the release of info on the scalp surgeries to keep his hair, while we freak out about his financial liabilities.

They have something. Never forget, he brought up hotel rooms with spycams at the press conference all on his own.

It begins:

Which mortifies me!

Your headlines are showering us in puns.

Actually, SNL nailed it. Pence will be president inside of this calendar year.

This guy’s a full blown narcissist. And he’s our president. We. Are. Fucked.