Whoa, Roy. Stop equivocating and tell us how you really feel. (Does fried chicken come with those twat waffles?)

PARANOIA ALERT: Sometimes overbearing Grocery store employees will direct you to limited items chk-out lines even if you have too many. I then feel shoppers all around giving me the stink eye and whispering about rude people as I check out. Anyone else ever get this?

How gouche! Everyone knows the beemer goes in the guest bathroom!

Come-on Casey Chan,

Bet that made it hard to wash his legs!

Isn’t that what everyone does? I believe it’s called a “contact wash”.

What about my male third leg? Your convoluted reasoning could also apply here. And while I’m there, why not just skip the jewels too--they get wet on their own volition. Also, why soap up and wash between your toes--unless you have toenail fungus or diabetes, that also seems a waste of time!

Who is she paying to look at pics of her? How low are your personal standards if you find this ugly old cow’s heft worth eyeballing. She’s just plain scary.