That penmanship is on point.

Dear Henry, the guy who thinks he needs a“safe space” for white dudes: it’s called EVERYWHERE. Inviting more people to the table doesn’t make you unsafe, you sniveling privilegewank.

It’s Australia. A tornado was the least dangerous thing they’d seen all day. Those trees in the background? Angry Ents carrying drop bears.

IT’S NOT FUCKING STALKING IN *ANY* DEFINITION, YOU PSYCHO. Jesus Christ, you people - actually making me defend this goddamn movie.

Because the person recounting the story to you doesn’t actually remember it correctly. He meets her when he’s on vacation and she’s working as his housekeeper. She leaves when he comes to the end of his vacation. And he immediately starts to learn Portuguese in order to speak to her. A year later, after not having…

Bolivian woman learns one weird trick to getting pregnant! Reproductive endocrinologists hate her!

Still proud of my work here after I heard that stupid interview.

The judge’s sentence: “Wah wah wah wah wah wah wah”

If Lucy just held the football ONE FUCKING TIME we wouldn’t be talking about this right now!

I bite my thumb in your general direction.

We need a nicer term than “roast beef curtains.” Pleasure drapes? Vagina Valance?

girl

We had one like that. (We had to put him on a diet, but it was only to get him down to 25 pounds from 28.) He was part Maine Coon, and also, I think, part Buick.

I just adopted this kitten a couple hours ago and she is asleep on my shoulder right now, you guys.

One mans frozen hell, is another mans mortgage payment.

WTF?

It is not. People are effing crazy sometimes.

... is it insensitive to go as a dead lion? Like. I’m genuinely asking this because I really don’t know where the line is anymore.