He plays for the Raiders; he’s not able to offer primo game tix.

Or the “hang loose” sign

I feel quite confident that the odds of my having a chance encounter with any member of BTS are essentially zero, unless one of them has a fondness for the cereal aisle of Safeway at 11:00 pm that I never heard about.

Look, I don’t think it’s really fair to use something that happened fifty years ago to say that Americans are bad at math.

But she looks so sane!

Nah, the Biebs is totally a Nitzer Ebb guy

She needs to calm down*

How’s Jones Bar-B-Q (the one made famous by Queer Eye)? 

Phil Collins was once an enormous star. I mean, it was the 80s, so I’m assuming that literally everyone in the world was on cocaine, but still.

So I basically know nothing about Fury other than the fact that he’s a homophobic asshat, but I’m pretty sure he’s British, so what’s with the “U.S.A.! U.S.A.!” routine?

On the one hand, I’m sure that teenage boys jerked off to these. On the other hand, teenage boys can jerk off to refrigerator magnets.

Woody Harrelson looks way too overdressed to be Archie Bunker.

“Mommy, where’s Inspector Ledru? I can’t find him anywhere.”

People who don’t understand hyperbole are the greatest monsters imaginable.

As a Blazers fan, you get used to a sort of polite, quiet disappointment (I’m not quite old enough to remember the Sam Bowie draft pick, but the pain of the team taking a 73-year old Greg Oden still lingers). Yeah, rationally I know they’re probably going to lose to the Dubs, but goddammit, right at this moment I’m…

That was a good pun, I’ll patella you what.

If anyone’s interested in learning more about Perdue Farms, I highly recommend the seven volume biography of its former CEO, “A la Recherche du Frank Perdue”.

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I’ve had long-standing man crushes on Dame and C.J., and I recently added Enes Kanter to the list. I guess I need to make room for Rodney Hood now too. I’m probably going to start writing some really strange slashfic.

That Food & Wine guy probably didn’t even visit the Wigsphere!