His real name is Biff.

"You'll never take me alive, copper!"

Is…is coming to work plastered every day not what everyone does?

Get Reince Priebus to do it. He could use the work.

Eh, it's really no big dill.

I'm a semi-well wisher, in that I don't wish him to be run over by any specific brand of semi.

I've taken to tweeting "Fuck you" at Trump every day. It's the smallest, most pathetic act of rebellion possible, I know, but it does cheer me up for a minute or two.

When you stare into the skinny repeal bill, the skinny repeal bill also stares into you.

You're a member of the Laugheration Front? I love you guys.

Mrs. Gorilla went to grad school on the other side of the continent. The first time I was able to fly out to see her, we had been separated for about six months. I got a six am flight (with multiple stops to save money), landed in D.C., rented a car, and drove about two hours to the tiny town where she was living. By…

I'm complaining. Not about the article, but my foot is a little sore and I'm almost out of vodka.

I'll admit that it took me a while to go from listening to the Fall because I wanted to seem cool to listening to them because I actually like their music, but once it did, I became a huge fan. Agreed that his recent output has been…erm…not so great, but I'll still give this a listen.

There's literally never been a time in my life when I wasn't regularly watching something she was involved in. It's mind-boggling to think that she worked on everything from classic Warner Brothers shorts (and that with her death, the last remaining connection to that era is gone) to the modern, edgier age of 'toons.…

I died doing what I love.

He needs to make that decision for himself.

So if I stop drinking soda, I can continue to be a fat, lazy drunk and still be healthy?Yay!

I'm more of a Jack and Choke man, myself.

That is a complete and total stereotype. Now if you'll excuse me, I believe my fair trade, locally sourced, vegan muffins are ready.

There was a big audience when I saw it, but that was at a college theater in Portland, so it's probably not all that surprising.

Trump hates being mocked, though. He absolutely despises it. Every parody, every joke is like a knife in his guts. If for no other reason than to infuriate Der Orangeführer, I want there to be as many Trump jokes as possible.