Your cack?

So if everyone starts cramming their rectums full of items, unemployment rates should plummet?

This is useless without embedded videos.

I think the Flacco to Jones bomb in the Superbowl was better, especially when Jones had the wherewithall to realize he went untouched and finished the play.

B for effort. F for execution.

What is the exchange rate between Mighty Wings and fine Egyptian cotton?

Sosa ruined everything that's great about being a Cubs fan: he gave us hope and he gave us a legitimate reason to complain about our team.

That, or Jackson got there earlier than he had anticipated. Wilson stepped a lot further than he needed to, realized he had over-committed, and tried to lean back to adjust.

This was almost perfect, but you forgot to have a little white '100' pop up when Wilson went down.

Isn't this story supposed to have a section where the captain succeeds in some measurable way?

Normally I would advise forlorn fans to give up on their lost season and enjoy their surroundings, but... y'know... Green Bay.

You don't change the rules just because a team is losing... except for the Tuck Rule.

Which prime directive did he have to manually bypass in order to use the word 'sex?'

Have you heard about the Kurt Cobain beer?

Yeah, the two teams that have taken us out in the last three cups, plus a team that still hasn't forgotten our upsetting them. No bueno.

Thanks to the Texans:

Assuming these couples aren't pulling off any daring maneuvers, almost all positions involve/demand some effort from the man, while a few key positions can go down without the woman doing a whole lot.

Needs to throw a punch, touch a ref, or yell "ball don't lie."

Why can't they both be the ultimate douchebag?