I'll say something semi-nice/superficial: dated hair aside, for a lady who's borne 19 kids, she looks great.

Nobody I respect more than medical experts who diagnose to the press without ever actually meeting with their 'patients.' I need to fire my OBGYN and see Dr. Solomon post-haste! I've been working out but I'm probably too big to do so.

I've wondered, is he still 'with' Rielle in any way, or is Rielle just with Rielle?

I'm more impressed by this than mustache-growing for charity.

This part is the worst, to me:

Well, according to Rick, Obama cares more about pornographers than Teh Childrens, so I don't know why he's so surprised.

gurrl I wish I knew or else I'd try to make them happen more often! I think it's a combination of dirty dreams and convenient leg placement leading to happy blood flow.

I'll pipe up: I'll have a mini one every now and then, usually during the cooldown period. It's not a full-blown orgasm, but something a little milder than a sex-dream orgasm. It's a nice bonus, like my body going "Nice job—here you go!"

Well I WAS going to buy a lot of dreamcatchers and festive brooches featuring Kokopelli and bandana-wearing coyotes howling at the moon...

Oh, sometimes I just want to rub my vagina all over idiots' faces.

ooh, he kind of looks like Keegan-Michael Key in tight pants! I'm not mad.

well, I envy your flaw-free poops then!

This reminds me of why the WTF with Marc Maron interview with Anthony Bourdain irritated me. They laughed about and mocked people who go to Olive Garden—briefly contemplating that there are people out there that perhaps can't afford or live close to anything better—but then returned to talking about what fucking rubes…

Are you saying you have no guilty pleasures then, or just pointing out that you never eat crap?

I'm trying to recall what we did get, and I feel like there were a lot of erasers and stickers and little assorted pieces of plastic.

"those little bird toys that make chirping sounds"

to me she looks like my friend Dawn, a nutritionist/spokewoman type person

I'm wearing Spanx leggings right now.

runs in, breathless I heard...I heard that President Barack Hussein Nobummer wants to actually personally forcibly abort your baby, under Sharia Law! Libtards!!!

If you weren't already I'd heart you for this.