Having lived through this era, I am truly mystified by the worship these days for Patti Smith. She certainly had some fame back in the day, but she was always punk lite. Always.

Most normal families I know barely even speak to each other. Most of my family wouldn't say more than two words to each other a day. I don't know where it's normal to 'be affectionate' together.

Yeah, and it doesn't even have to be as taxing as cooking all the meals. I remember reading something once that used the example of a sock being on the floor to illustrate the subtle difference in role expectations. The man will walk by the sock, and the woman will pick it up, regardless of whose it is.

I'm married, but my husband travels a lot, so I bet I can make it to 90.

Even though I had the worst valentines day ever being that I'm currently single, weigh about 8 pounds more than I did last year when I was in a relationship, and was hungover from the previous night; there is a corner of my hardened heart that finds this picture adorable. The older I get the more preoccupied I become…

OH GOD, THOSE GUYS, I SWEAR.

Please don't feel sorry for us olds who don't have guys giving us "attention" any more. Hitting 35 and realizing that I could occasionally do things on my own and be left in fucking peace - blessed, beautiful peace - was the most exhilarating experience of my life.

Unless she's lying, too...

I cued it up in VistaPrint for you: here you go

I've lived with a couple of ex-boyfriends for different random reasons. I am so thankful I lived with them before we tried to get married because honestly all of our problems were household-related. I guess I think of that logic as being really backwards because the marriage isn't going to be what makes you good…

Unscientific opinion: at least a year

I prefer to drink my tea like a lord, a time lord.

I prefer to drink my tea like a lord, a time lord.

Yesterday I saw a guy wearing basketball shorts, Adidas rubber slippers with socks, and a wool pullover with Celtic patterns.

My go-to answer when people ask me that is, "Mmmmm." Like, even if it was true, I probably wouldn't tell the guy because I wouldn't want him to get too full of himself and put in less effort. (That may or may not make me a shitty person.)

I imagine his ex-wives' eyes rolled right out of their heads when they heard he was giving relationship advice.

Oh I was HOPING for a post on this. Because really, isn't it just beautiful that a philanderer who views lying to your partner as an essential and caring way to express love in a relationship completely fails to connect that to the fact that he has been married THREE TIMES?

Well, I think there's a happy medium between talking stuff to death and resolving issues with a lifetime friend by getting wasted together and throwing a punch - so sue me ;-).

My grandmother had a serious boyfriend before she met my grandfather and she said that the main reason she broke it off was because he ate like a damn pig. She said "I couldn't imagine having to watch that at least twice a day for the rest of my life".

I thought that was an all around terrible episode. First of all, the black men on this show have the same rough life expectancy as mayflies; it as if they're contractually obligated to have only one black male lead at a time. Also, the way Tyrese was bitten was ridiculous. Two years into this thing, and we're supposed…