It’s even easier if you ring up organic produce as conventional and less chance of being caught.

When you’re falling, dive.

You can make parachutes out of square paper napkins by opening them up and twisting all the corners together. Then grab them by the knot and flip them up to fill with air. You can also attach a tiny figurine to the parachute if it’s light enough. 8/

Pizza? Pizza is NOT a sandwich.

Add a slice or two on top afterward, as well, because the cheese sauce alone will be too thin.

You need scoff medicine.

Whew! So glad to hear this.

I’ve given up female friends who were too needy on the phone. Call me if we’re too busy to see each other and you have news. Call me to make plans. Call me in an emergency. Do not fucking call me to waste an hour of my time every day because you don’t like to eat/drive/cook/shit/be alone.

I read that as, “Let’s hook up sometime if we feel like it, but that’s all I want from you, if that, so don’t annoy me.”

You think it’s bad when they couple up, wait until they have kids. Start making more single friends now, as a buffer. Definitely go out alone, and try to pick friendly bars, or some kind of group activity where you can find other singles to hang out with. I made a bunch of friends to go out with that way, one or two…

If you’re dealing with credit card debt and you somehow get a big sum of money, such as a loan from family, to knock it down with, try asking if you can pay only 2/3. Call them up and offer them 2/3, saying you’re in a tough position financially and you’re trying not to go the bankruptcy/Chapter 11 route. You have to…

I admit I almost went for the Disney bandaids.

And, looking through my cart on Amazon, I realized my favorite flip flops had just dipped $10 in price so I moved them from my saved list to my cart and checked out with that amount making up the free shipping minimum. Made my day, since I will definitely use them this…

I just went there and the very first price was wrong. $2.09 came up, Amazon had it for $7.90. Nice idea, tho.

And, if you put them in eggs, it’s a waste of perfectly good eggs that are fabulously yummy with potatoes.

Oh, and the number one thing to understand when you’re using a credit card for purchases, especially if you’re able to pay them off each month: The closing date on your account. Purchases made right before the closing date show up as payable on your next due date, about 3 weeks. Payments made right after your closing…

You should pay off high-interest debt first. If it includes credit cards, then you can use them for emergency expenses when you have some money open on your credit line. Savings are important, a small cash reserve, but it’s not good to have a big savings account if you’re losing money in interest elsewhere. Also, for…

Unless it’s, “Don’t make the mistakes I made.” Which can be helpful.

It sounds like it would help in the case of IndianaJoan’s friend. Anyone making this decision should consult with an accountant and do the numbers both ways.

He could get kidney disease, cardiovascular disease, etc. Cheese is not meat, btw.

My mother was/is abusive, too. She had a love-hate extremely dramatic relationship with me, while I was mostly kind of puzzled and upset and tried to keep as much distance as I could with her breathing down my neck trying to destroy what peace I could carve out for myself. It was draining, and the older I get, the…