Proud of you Jennifer. Don't listen to the assholes. This is how progress is made. Two steps forward, then a hesitant shuffle to the side, and then WHAM, three steps backwards through the air.

I can understand their frustration. Last time I wore a rubber suit, lab testing said it was 99% effective. Now I've got a little shit running around the house calling me Dad.

Haven't seen this many Miami pros and cons since the last Dolphins-Hurricanes scrimmage.

You could save 15% or more by switching to Costco

The Japanese are known for their filthy splitters. Just ask any one of the Beatles.

?1

They actually tried this in America already, only instead of soccer it was college football, instead of players it was an assistant coach, and instead of the field of play, it was a shower.

"I'm not a bigot! I'm not bi-anything! That's fucking disgusting!"

It's a good theory, but I don't think it makes complete sense. Priefer wouldn't cut you because he'd be afraid that he'd catch AIDS.

The colon procedure was ultimately aborted, as a last minute MRI showed everything was connected to the asshole.

Jimmy John's Founder: Dude, Brock, I have to ask. What's with the pants?

It's a clever homage to the fact that most people who eat at Jimmy John's are high/wasted.

I'm a Mariners fan, so I'm seriously offended by Pete Rose's stupid comment. He really should learn to think before he runs his stupid mouth.

"A little thing that can turn into anything at anytime."

It's okay, Gammo, many of the victims wish they could have a knee-jerk reaction too

To be fair, I think Peter was just trying to illustrate that A-Rod's defense doesn't have a leg to stand on.

He's one of the good ones, and he's more than earned the odd brain cramp.

Yankees: [play a doubleheader]

I'm all about team unity, but really, another Texans stroke?