My favorite rendition:

This tickles me.

The extended universe that's been leaking out of the Zelda world lately is as bad as Star Wars'!

This is the sort of thing that gets me excited about holodecks.

It's a probably well-meaning push for diversity and gender equality, just in the wrong direction.

My interest in playing this game just went up 400%.

"Planet Minecraft's 'Head into my Butts' contest"

I feel like I've seen this pun 19 times.

Since it lists the plural of koopa as "koopa's", I feel comfortable disregarding this source of canon.

Eww. It's polluting the purity of the Mario world.

Is it a report if it's just a rumor?

I'm looking forward to the series, but this trailer did nothing for me.

Still trying to get my hands on a SNES gashapon.

The little boldy thing should be a clickable link, methinks! It's not very smooth to discover that some "articles" can't be clicked, and then I have to hunt for the date.

Dad gummit, I just wanna click the article title to get to this page.

'[uild] mo-ya-ye tya-asto-ya[s]!

But read their first sentence.

Oh god, that's awful.

Yup, bursting.

I've a hole in me heart, now.