Absolute maniacs. Have you read Please Kill Me?

RIP Michael Davis DUAN

I can't even explain it. It just happened. I - I just -

I'll never understand why teams don't foul in that situation.

Kendall Marshall is a basketball genius beast. And Tyler Zeller could adopt my babies. And Roy Williams could adopt me.

Wow. What a turnaround.

That would be nice. Unlikely, but it would be nice to if I could breathe before 11:30.

I'm a Little Bit Freaking the Fuck Out Right Now DUAN:

I'm happy right now. I feel good. For the moment, I will concede that there is a God.

Go Motherfucking Big Blue!

Does anyone with perspective believe that was holding?

"He got double-fisted."

That's what I'm talking about! Charlize Theron looks gooooood!

Boom.

I hope they show that "Spider tossing a grown-man around the room like a rag doll" commercial again. I mean, I hope you guys are taking notes when that commercial airs. It is comedy. What makes it comedy is the incongruity. See, that little tiny spider should NOT be able to do any of that stuff, yet it does.

Never mind.

+10011100100011100

Let's leave Ben alone you guys. I mean, he's always dressed to reflect how he feels inside. So what if he's feeling more "assholey" than "rapey"? Can you blame him?

Pictured: "Big" Ben Roethlisberger, former "Man About Town," prepares for his upcoming trip to Palookaville.

Stories were told, career advice given (more him to me than vice versa), some choice tunes played on the jukebox thanks to some foreign tourists, as I recall, and it got late early. The night ended with AJ convincing six strippers in the champagne room at Scores to do lines off my head.