It's now more than three weeks since I've heard from my boyfriend of eleven months. I'm going to send him this. But I'll probably add a little profanity.

Oh awesome look! Another box into which women are stuffed in to based on shoddy conclusions of flavor of the week, cool kid pick and choose trend data.

Counter-point: Bananas, Pineapples and Cherries is also the strict diet that Pac-Man was on and dude is round as fuck.

All the pooping and cramps really work the core.

Damn you.

Somewhere, Stephen breathes a sigh of relief.

I'm sure Christian parents are eagerly awaiting her parenting advice.

Fuck "winning" there is no such thing. That girl needs to be protected, even if the assholes then feel like they won. I guess they did, no one cares about her and nothing is happening in that town.

So Loki, dear. What else can you do with your bare hands? Please show me. Let me take some clothes off before you begin.

I'm not a pirate, but [masturbate furiously to the movie Pirates of the Caribbean]

Ooo OOO can I join?

Just because.

All of it.

I love watching you get into comment back and forths with people. Eventually it always turns into, BOOM, LAWYERED BY YVANEHTNIOJ

"perhaps he was mentally ill"...ok, perhaps he was. Let' speculate.

I just always hate when things get misconstruted.