RIP Deadspin. Glad everyone got to at least give a final “go fuck yourself” to Spanfeller and co.

Man, I love people who self-own through being hilariously inept. You know, pumpkin thieves, thin-skinned vulture capitalist owners of blog sites, those kinds of folks.

But really, how many kinds of toilets are there? You’ve got ass, piss, vomit, and doggie drinking bowl.

Yeah, I got that

Literally doesn’t mean literally anymore, of course, but Johnstown to Shanksville is only a 40 minute drive.

Well, of course! The guy who was mercilessly raping children and threatening to destroy the careers of anyone who got in his way was white a clean cut throwback to days of old!  

Just your daily reminder: Fuck PENN State and Fuck the NCAA.

Those kids were compliant, so it was fine.

So they draw the line on tee shirts but not rampant child abuse? 

I’m breathlessly waiting for McMahon to decide that a Dennis Rodman/David Arquette feud angle is what the WWE badly needs.

“The toner’s low. It’s always low. I’ve maybe never changed the tone. I just shook it again.”

Stabbed in the Butt cereal is just knockoff Colon Blow.

When I was about 21, I would bring my 16 year old brother up to the house I was staying in, and me and my roommates would get him drunk and stoned and all that fun stuff. One night, we had gotten super baked and he was insisting that a box of Chex we had was chocolate, because “they were brown on the box”, despite…

I didn’t see anything about those girlfriends being from Canada, so probably not.

“... just two of 17 girlfriends Gayle had at the time of the murder.”

Ain’t no Cousins apologizing for butt stuff down here.

Khalil Mack was also an unannounced guest when he came in to sack Cousins on air because there was no one who bothered to stop him.

At least the reds aren't gonna lose this october.  

The Shitty Bengals is one of my all time favorite local cover bands. Really love their parody song “Staycation.”

STEPSISTER WALKS IN ON QB STRETCHING IN JOCK STRAP