I! HAVE! CANCER!!!

My favorite music video ever is the dubstep mix of "you're tearing me apart Lisa" I watch it at least once a week!

I am insanely excited about this!

He's a perfectionist. Gotta mix that whiskey and vodka just right!

My freshman year of college I worked at a restaurant co-owned by a former Olympic bobsledder who happened to play "Chris-R." I first saw The Room a year later and nearly choked on my beer when I saw my former boss like this:

You might want to get a buzz going before you hit play.

Her neck...

I want to be excited about this but...James Franco. :/

OH HAI EVERYBODY! HAI LISA! LET'S GO THROW THE FOOTBALL A BIT!

Sam Sr, pictured here, unable to finish his Birthday Slam.

Oh hai...

"I don't want my grandkids raised in that kind of environment."

The Republicans are now doubly angry at this guy. First he produces a gay son, now they find out he out-sources American prostitution jobs to Mexico.

Son, Tijuana lose your virginity?

Michael Sam has 2 siblings that were murdered, 1 disappear and declared dead and 2 in prison. I'd be inclined to do the opposite of whatever the hell dad Sam Sr. says.

As evidence, he pointed out that he had taken an older son to Mexico to lose his virginity.

"If a man gets a serious injury, it's still not fatal, but for women it could end much more seriously," a Russian ski jumping coach said. "Women have another purpose—to have children, to do housework, to create hearth and home."

Sloughing off the shackles of sexism one uterine misconception at a time.

Just a word of advice: save Uranus for at least the 5th date.