allow me to translate for idiot Massholes

bake em away, toys

how can you not like it?

http://samepicofdavecoulier.tumblr.com/

I had sex with your wife!

Holy Toledo by Ken Korach is amazing

start with the WINGS and the oyster of course

Alligators > steamboats

I'm curious if being left vs. right handed has anything to do with this?

when I was in high school I worked at Safeway and worked Thanksgiving. Triple-time-and-a-half boyyeeeee! I didn't mind because we closed at 6pm and I worked a double. STRAIGHT CASH HOMEY.

or if he has a giant sink he can have cool water running on it (when its in the bag). similar result regardless

if the turkey's in a bag, he can put it in a bucket of cold water to speed up the defrost

these Ohioans have wiped the chili-crust from their hands on their XXXXL sweatpants, lumbered over to their computer, opened Netscape, and are voting NO on this in droves

as a teacher, NEVER eat something the student gives you without having them try it first. It also looks good to offer it to a few others first.

this is a private school...

can only be Jose Canseco

you son of a bitch there's nothing new on these

I nominate this kid and his turkey leg for 2013 Deadspin Hall of Fame

the hunger games marketing comment is SPOT ON

I'll agree with that. I'm not sure in terms of flavor but it looks more appealing to have a uniform color (although I kind of like the black specks)