Once I was eating dinner with a friend. The waiter starting hitting on my friend, said "You're so beautiful.... I mean... you both are...."

mad props for telling him how you feel. but yea rejection hurts like a motherfucker. better luck next time though

Warning: Super Long. Sorry.

I'm not ready for you to orgasm yet, Dave.

I don't know why, but Bad Dragon toys always look like something I would buy and set up in my room because they look so exciting with the tye-dye blended colors, and they look so squeezy.

• Megyn Kelly had a baby and named it Thatcher Bray Brunt.

The pair are currently filming a video for PassionandPleasure.com, which offers an online course that promises to put the spice back in any relationship.

the answer is in the question

I don't consider insects to be animals. Kill them all.

So Zimmerman is found not guilty of manslaughter, and these guys merely won't face the death penalty in their trial for murder. Both egregious miscarriages of justice, equal in all respects. Why are these black boys getting preferential treatment?

The thing about physical standards is that a person might have it today, but who knows what it'll be like in the future. Teeth can start out straight and, as you get older, wander like the unfaithful spouse. You might not like big ears or noses so you start dating someone who has neither. Little do you realize that…

It's okay to be picky so long as you don't shove your head into the sand and ignore the fact that patriarchy/kyriarchy has shaped your preferences by privileging a very specific set of attributes in both men and women... or act like your preferences are somehow the "most correct" things one should be looking for in a…

"Get your ass to Hogwarts!" (Schwarzenegger voice)

Your pet would eat you, if it had to. Then again, so would your girlfriend.

I very much hope you wear your eyebrows like that too.

Come on you have to admit it was brilliant to have the school for the deaf win.

Found this on Discovery News as it says everything I was going to say but better.

I don't know... "Robin Thicke himself didn't help the matter by saying in an interview with GQ that, in order to write the song, he and Pharrell "started acting like we were two old men on a porch hollering at girls" and claiming that the video contained taboos on purpose: "Bestiality, drug injections, and everything…

"You are not separate from our society, you are part of our society, and you must play a responsible role in it and you must help us in our attempt to stifle free speech, to ban certain thoughts, and make this police state stronger!"

It's true that deporting them would have violated their human rights. You don't lose those just because you behave like a subhuman shitheel.