Thanks for sharing your experience with me, that was really interesting. And I could definitely relate to your final sentence.

Pro-bono? I get what you mean though. I'm in the UK, so when the National Health Service doesn't cover it you're paying totally out of pocket. I should be able to cover it, I'm just nervous about feeling like I'm on the clock.

I do know someone who has been in counseling, but she was having it for PTSD resulting from being raped and tortured decades ago. She's never had anything but good things to say about being in therapy, but our situations are so different it's very difficult for me to relate. It's so easy to look at other people and…

Anyone have experience of going to a private counsellor for mental health issues? After more than a year of putting it off I finally went to CBT again (cognitive behavioural therapy). Unfortunately the NHS have a catch 22 situation going on, since I apparently am too functional to qualify and so they won't treat me. 3…

I remember counting 6 of my friends in high school who said the same thing about non-white women. 4 of them have now gone out with non-white women, the other two haven't dated anyone. Basically, it may be that, like dogunderwater says, you're just buying into what the media tells you about attractiveness, but that…

If it was legal where I live, and I could guarantee that it was with someone who wasn't trafficked/pimped/drug-addicted...I'd consider it. In a perfect world I don't see anything wrong with sex-work, or those who patronise it.

You should have just tried harder to change him! ;)

Thanks for the support. I do feel a little bad saying these things since I'm a straight, white, cisgendered male who's never been abused or raped or anything. I'm the definition of privilege, so it's very easy for me to be compassionate!

Aww thanks, I try.

A+ parody, would read again.

I don't think that expecting viewing these guys with compassion because of what society does to them while also condemning their behaviour are mutually exclusive. But then I think rapists, child abusers and murderers have probably been through things that earn them compassion too. I'm a soft touch that way! That still…

There's a quote from "Sunbathing in the Rain" (I forget the author).

"I'm being told that reconciling with him will change my relationships with men and give me inner peace."

I went through a couple of message boards about being "incel" and "loveshy", and it was pretty mixed. Put it this way: even the "positive" threads about people in the community actually finding love/sex were filled with negativity, hopelessness and an overwhelming hatred and resentment of women.

I responded similarly to someone on Jez talking about having 50+ message conversations with guys using a chat-bot. Even she admitted that it just started to get sad. Online dating involved making yourself so vulnerable already, and be necessity involves putting up a picture of yourself so you are identifiable. It's…

I know that when I've received fake messages before it has been very tempting to buy into them, especially when I was at my lowest and loneliest. I can really understand someone playing along, or simply refusing to acknowledge the truth, because they are so desperate. Mocking these guys for it feels mean-spirited I…

Does thinking you're entitled to something make you desperate for it? I know that it's a cause for a lot of bad behaviour in pursuit of sex/love, but I don't think that enitlement is what creates the desperation in the first place. I tried to articulate this in my first post, but I think us men are basically taught…

So how fast did you pick up on it? :P

Yup, I'm not excusing this behaviour, but I do feel for these guys, and wonder what expectations they've had placed on them that lead them to this point, and how they can be so clueless as to what's acceptable behaviour.

Hehe, thanks.