Well, I just messaged her and did pretty much that. I also made a joke about "at least I didn't go buy some pheromones", which we had joked about on the date. I can't help feeling that I'm just digging myself in deeper here though.

Pretty drunk. I only had one drink with her, but did the whole "plan to meet friends after an hour so I have an excuse to leave in case it is awful". I then was feeling elated at it going well and stayed out till 2am drinking with those friends. Oops.

I will try. Unfortunately she doesn't drink, so her tolerance of drunken foolishness might be lower than a lot of people.

Hmm, that's a good idea actually, thanks.

Thanks! Also I apprediated your help previously with my profile. I wish PMs were still working so I could thank people later.

Well, I don't want to make too many assumptions, but male victims of abuse/domestic violence already have a hard time admitting that they have been victims. Especially at the hands of women. I mean what would make you seem less of a man? Also it sounds like their friends don't believe how messed up she is, so he is…

Thank god someone understands! Also I didn't text her, I messaged her on the site, so it's not as bad. Hopefully because of that it's less likely to be interpreted as a booty call (do people still say that?)

We kind of hit it off talking about our history of each owning pet rats. She even told me she had considered bringing one along on the date. I thought I was being funny, especially since she had a really weird sense of humour (she used the word "cunt" 10 minutes into the date and made a joke about me taking her into…

How much of her stalking involves relaying things he said about you or the like? The most charitable interpretation I can come up with for his cowardice is that he complained about you to her and is afraid that if he challenges her she'll make it clear to both him and you just how badly he acted. Or admitted some…

Ach, that's what I was afraid of. That'll teach me to read articles about how women want "strong men who ask for what they want and don't play games" while drunk at 3am.

So I had my first ever date last night with a girl I met on OKCupid. I thought it went really well, but then I drunkenly messaged her at 3am this morning asking her when she is going to invite me over so I could smooch her 5 pet rats then maybe smooch her too. She has not yet responded.

I only recently downloaded the whole series after being perplexed by all the Jezebel coverage for a long time. I think if I'd known how hilarious it was I would have done so much sooner, but all the talk was about race and depictions of women on television and "new sex and the city". Humour is so subjective it still…

A lot of my own bitterness when I went through my Nice Guy phase wasn't from the fact that women weren't interested in me (which I found percectly understandable), but that they were interested in guys who were total douchebags. I remember in particular one girl who was a wonderful person in high-school going out…

And you're saying that makes him "evil"? I mean that's what we're talking about here right?

I'm not sure whether you're joking or not but Hitler was a product of thousands of years of anti-semitism, and probably countless other factors. Saying he was simply evil lets us off the hook.

I remember reading about how pedophiles who received treatment had one of the lowest recidivism rates, while those who didn't had some of the highest. And these are people which it is very easy to classify as "evil". That's not a snipe hunt, and I'm having trouble thinking of cases where there really is no alternative…

I get where you're coming from. I'm a dude in his twenties with pretty much no dating/sexual experience, so when I hear people talk about their absolutely awful relationships a part of me can't help but think "At least you have something." I feel like having an awful experience losing my virginity, or drunken teen…

I loved it, but it's the only Murakami I've ever read so my frame of reference might be off.

OK, I think I understand now. Expecting kudos or attention from women because you support equality really is Nice Guy territory. Damn. I was hoping that the self-deprecating following sentence would be enough to indicate that I wasn't expecting adoration for it, but I guess that was me wanting to have my cake and eat…

Damn, now I have to consider all this without rejecting it immediately. As much as I hate to admit it, I think you're mostly right and I'm going to have to change a lot of it.