Athletic departments just don’t sign as many sponsorship deals with Brooks Brothers as they used to.

NM Coach: You fucking idiot, we are clearly creatures of determism because it is never possible for us to do anything different from what we actually do, ... in each case, the circumstances that exist before we act determine our actions and make them inevitable.

Or ... maybe it’s the BEST commenting strategy?

Yet so incredibly common

Haven’t watched the video and didn’t read the article. I’m just gonna go ahead and guess she used a crow bar and duct tape.

She clearly is not taking any shit. I bet her moderating skills are on point.

Vineyard Vines: For when you want to drink yourself stupid, throw a failed slow-motion haymaker, and get kicked in the neck...all while dressed like the preschooler with the coolest mom.

The movement is real.

I look forward to this being, inevitably, ruined by a presidential campaign.

I for one can’t wait to take my 40 year old out of shape ass to the club tonight to try this. I can’t think of anything that can go wrong. This is gonna be my best night since I learned how to Dougie. Look out ladies, here I come.

Well I think one thing that completely down plays this situation is that immediately before the supposed punch, she herself admitted to attacking Sims Walker. I just don’t see how you can call yourself a victim when you were the one initiating the contact.

This article is assuming many things (reporters’ intentions, Marshall’s intentions, what the video shows) without Diane having seen the video. You and I haven’t done as extensive as research as Diane has but I’m assuming we’ve all read the multiple reports on it. So you and I are allowed some amount of speculation,…

Maybe the case is just not really newsworthy and doesn’t affect the Brandon Marshall narrative regardless of outcome. Even if the video was conclusive and this was an open/shut case where he did throw the punch, it’s a barroom scuffle and his personality disorder and propensity for violence really have nothing to do…

Is it possible that BM hits this woman in self defense or in defense of someone he’s with? That might explain the reporters’ reluctance to print it since it invites a nuanced conversation the public is probably not able to handle (that is, a man ‘justifiably’ hitting a woman).

Yeah, this article makes it sound like a media cover-up. It just might not be newsworthy and gain no interest.

It’s of course possible that Marshall truly believes he is innocent

I may be eviscerated for this, but if this is some sort of brawl that has many active participants, is this really something that comes close to comparing to a Hardy/Rice type incident? Marshall did not know this person. This was in no way a case of domestic violence. This was a brawl where apparently Marshall’s wife…

In the blog post (which I read, and would like to note that I believe I am owed that ten minutes of my life back) she concludes that "obviously" the nanny sent it to the husband on purpose to "proposition" him, then pretended she meant it for a friend.

So this Nanny didn’t sext or proposition her husband so much send a text meant for her friend extolling his hotness to him by mistake?