He wants to cuddle with you while you're still moist from the shower, wearing nothing but a pair of panties. **shudder**

I worked at the Virgin Megastore in the 90's when he released his book and did an in-store and he was actually very polite and kind to everyone. Like, he was only supposed to sign like fifty books, but he made sure that he stayed several hours past his scheduled time so that every single fan that showed up got to see…

This reminds me of the famous Onion article, "Marilyn Mansion Now Going Door-to-Door Trying to Shock People."

That evening, Linda Schmidt was preparing to drive her daughter Alyssa to a Girl Scouts meeting when she found Manson standing on her porch draped in sheep entrails.

Politically Incorrect. He was the smartest guy on the show. He and Florence Henderson of the Brady Bunch were macking on each other and almost made out on stage.

These aren't really that batshit. They're more like quotes from a person who wants to really appear to be batshit. Marilyn Manson was appealing to me when I was 14, but it's been a long time since then.

No because I'd never in a million years be ok with that. I know those kind of situations can work for some people, but honestly it'd make me more of a wreck than I already am.

Because she was an ass about it. She was rude to the server as were her friends. If she'd been polite then fair enough it would be mean to laugh, but she wasn't.

You shouldn't make fun of those commenters. They might come from somewhere that doesn't value common sense.

I have no problem with the guy paying whatever for his fish. What I would like to see on this article is a video of the surgery!!! How does one operate on a goldfish?????? Do you take form the water and operate really fast? Do you operate in the water? How do you give anesthesia?

The great thing about being a goldfish vet is you actually just go to the store whenever someone brings their pet in.

Damn the one armed pushups with his hand on his hip? YES PLEASE.

My two rats, may they rest in peace, cost me hundreds of dollars in vet bills for their respiratory infections.

You know what? Good for this dude. People spend $500 on a lot stupider shit than keeping a pet they like alive. I hope it works out for this fish.

If it was a dog or cat, people wouldn't bat an eyelid. But dogs and cats live for ~12 years. Goldfish live for ~30. On a yearly basis, the poop surgery is a better investment.

will definitely have Gaston on her head for at least a couple of weeks during sex.

Gaston can get it.

No one's strong as Gaston,
No one's long as Gaston,
No one's got such an incredible schlong as Gaston.
In Disney there's no one with half the talent
In the bedroom and with the brawn.

can someone let Gaston know there is a push up contest happening in my bedroom and he is invited? And by bedroom, I mean my bed. Clothing optional.