Sharks also cure cancer, except they have a habit of killing the patient in the process.

We can save tons of energy, by powering...our....uh...windows....uh...

Oh, ho ho. I see what I did there. Damn - I need more sleep.

Also, the healthiest diseases to catch and the healthiest speed to crash a car. We need to know these things.

I think that's assuming that it's the alcohol that's the healthy component of the drink - which is probably false. The healthiest drink is a pureed salad with a small dash of ethanol. Not sure it'd class as a drink though. It's more like an O'Douls V8 Edition.

Disappointed that paint-stripper didn't make the list.

Bonus points! If the whole processing facility goes super-critical then it might even get some of the sweat stains out. Seems like a lot of effort where some Tide should do it though.

Nice to meet you too.

Congratulations, you are attractive and/or pleasantly odorous. Referring to my bible of good things I note that this does indeed seem to be "A Good Thing(TM)".

Alternative suggestion: Did this "gym" have a fully stocked bar and bartender? The loud music is convincing but I've made this mistake before. It might explain some of the asking out as well.

It's the nature of the world to compete. On everything. All the time. Heck, at least this way you get to see the rankings. You're a success = you get bile and envy. You're a failure = you get mockery and pity. Yada yada blah blah blah nobody cares whatever.

Look around you, is there a living soul in the same room/office/city block/state?

Disable the camera from the device manager, then put black tape over the lens, then gouge the camera out with a chopstick, then take the whole laptop to the window and toss it out, then have Godzilla stomp on your house.

Yes. Maths.

Are watches still relevant?

YOU'RE A FREAK!! OMG!!

Torn on this one.

Wait, why are we arguing again? I just don't like the title.

"Stuff likes this makes me very grateful that I'm happily childfree, have cheap tastes, don't like travel, and enjoy sitting around playing a variety of video games."

So go work then. What's stopping you?