Just because Exaggerator won the Preakness doesn’t mean he should be put in charge of the stable.

I suspect you’re correct. Sonofabitch should lose his job and pension.

Republicans now hold the house, the senate and soon the presidency and the supreme court. It doesn’t fucking matter about one senator... good job America. i hope you get exactly what you wished for.

I can’t even smoke weed right now because of how fucking upset I am right now.

I am literally sick to my stomach. No matter,NO MATTER your views on Clinton, there is NO REASON! that a piece of fucking garbage like Trump should be president. He is concerned with one thing, making Donald Trump better.He dosen’t give a fuck about his little cult, and he dosen’t give a fuck about this country. I…

Those nails don’t inspire confidence vis a vis food safety.

Kellyanne told him he could have the password to his Twitter account back as soon as he voted.

I want to feel bad about Melania but I can not.

SEE

People ask me all the time why I don’t have kids. I always answer the same way, “I didn’t want any.”

It’s like you can actually see the interest drain from their faces when you tell them no, you don’t have any. I once met with an editor and literally the first thing she asked was, “Do you have kidlets?” I said, “Um, no, I have dogs though?” She seemed at somewhat of a loss for small talk after that.

What a shame. This pair would have given us so many quality memes.

Oof, I can feel the awkwardness from here. I would definitely prefer no candy to that. My church did fall festivals too, only they did allow “appropriate” (nothing scary, no ghosts ghouls witches etc.) costumes and encouraged Bible-themed costumes. My hero was the lady who showed up in a shiny, sexy red devil costume…

I wouldn’t wish a dead dog on my worst enemy, and that includes Mike Pence. I’m glad his furbabybeagle had a long life and, unlike American women, was probably treated very respectfully by Pence.

My parents haven’t resorted to going to Ecuador, but I have no doubt they’ll have some plan to “escape Hillary”. My parents are also both enthusiastic Trump supporters... and it angers me. I also live in a different state from my parents, and they never come visit me. They do, however, love going on cruises. But…

Preeeeeetty sure it’s November 28th

Yeah the fact that the half-brother agreed to this would explain why they don’t have a great relationship.

I do not enjoy sex because I have not had any in months.

This is a visual representation of nouveau riche.