Free speech does not shield one from the consequences of hate speech. If one work in a company that employs (or is headed by) anyone who is not a straight white male, expect some consequences when they are caught publicly saying that anyone who is not a straight white male is beneath them.

The way I see it, I would spend the same amount of time washing a “real” plate, so washing a plastic container isn’t all that farfetched.

When I lived in Panama City in my early 20s, some friends and I were out at the beach shops looking for a specific gag t-shirt. A guy in his mid-30s walked up to me, gave me a card, and said that he was a “Japanese rope bondage erotic photographer” and was looking for models.

I don’t care if it is a bird, a dog, human, or god. I will despise and curse the existence of anyTHING that bothers me between 0000-0630. *

My office had a super kind secretary, but she had two asshole roosters that would attack her. One day, she asked me to bring my herding dog out to go after them—which he gleefully did.

It is simple enough for the likes of me to not have kids—I have the maternal instinct of a turnip. Of course, my choice not to breed is negated by the “breeders” out there who have so many kids that their dang stick figure family stickers extend well past their windshield wiper (I was behind one such vehicle just this…

I feel bad admitting this, but I enjoy bathtime for my corgi-jack russel mix. He will fight and flail until the second the water is turned on—it is the only time he stops and admits complete and utter defeat.

I had a “discussion” with some of my Pro-Trump air traffic control peers, and they asked, “Besides the last pay increase, what has Obama ever done for us?”

18 was when Trump noticed his daughter? That perverted a-hole recognized his daughter as a sex object when she was barely out of puberty, if that.
...and he found Paris Hilton “attractive” at 12.
...and lots of others girls who are/were not even legal, because that is just the “stellar” kind of guy he is.

Flattery is one of my triggers—it is never delivered in such a way that I can genuinely accept it. It is always delivered from someone who I have already mentally marked as an idiot/liar, and it is always delivered when I am already fully aware that they need something from me. It is annoying because it wastes my…

Yup, I think I hit this point at 35. I suddenly got fed with multiple things and had no issue with direct confrontation with no tact whatsoever. It started with an obscenity-laced fit in the middle of the workplace after someone “lost” some work that they asked me to do—which I had already done twice before, which was…

Yup, I started green smoothies because I got tired of disassembling and cleaning my juicer. A nutribullet was a great starter blender, but I caved in and bought a Blendtec after the other one broke.

Yup, I started green smoothies because I got tired of disassembling and cleaning my juicer. A nutribullet was a…

Yeah! That’s the shop! The older man spoke a bit of English and made me show him that I know how to properly sharpen a blade on a stone. ^_^

I hear you there. In Kyoto, I went out of my way to buy a knife from a nice man who still forges his own steel for his blades. ^_^

Shipping from Korea and Japan is pretty reasonable, too. I would typically find it preferable to pay $30-$40 for the luxury of sending my things off with expedited service. However, there are more reasonable options if you are willing to wait a month or so.

“Never, because I like my dogs more,” works just fine for me.

I do—because I have a certain amount of expectation that someone will run their red. Colorado Springs drivers are f***ing awful.

Yup, and when driving straight through a light that has just turned green, expect some asshole to run the red light to try and make a turn.

I prefer to simply mail my souvenirs home. However, on my last trip, I simply took pictures and felt no need for any physical items...probably because my main interest was eating.

At this point, the only appeal “shark week” has is that it is the analogy I use for my period. I have a couple other coworkers in on it—which greatly amuses us when male coworkers talk about “shark week.”