When I roadtrip with my family/friends, I am the evil driver telling the males to stop drinking so many liquids because their frequent pit stop requirement is cutting into my daylight road time. I may or may not regularly use the term “gerbil bladder” to describe things.

I will give millennials credit, they care about food so much more than previous generations. This crappy processed, flavored, dyed, frozen garbage with added nutrients because all the original stuff was stripped out is not going to work anymore.

I still have a grudge against them because I flew with them several times, only to later find a news article about them cancelling “warm cookie service.” I never got a cookie. EVER.

As an air traffic controller, the American pilots have been the absolute WORST lately. One just got pissy with me because he wanted an opposite direction departure, but didn’t like the fact I did not part the seas of 10 other aircraft already established in the radar sequence (going in the RIGHT direction) to get him…

It is called “crabbing” and professional pilots train to land in crosswinds.

Nooo...controllers REALLY hate it when that happens. Do you have any idea how hard it is to suddenly start clearing aircraft for Runway 13 when you have been saying Runway 12 for years? :-)

...and the best part of those who hover is that THEY are the ones who fear piss on the seats the most! Yet they are the ones causing said piss on seat!

When I had corrective double-jaw surgery a couple years ago, my surgeon was kind enough to whack off my septum and move it into its “new” center position (it was already deviated). Interestingly enough, she told me NOT to blow my nose, but picking it was acceptable for the first 6 weeks of healing.

I use a $30 boar bristle brush. I am not tossing that because it is “dirty.”

Too goddamned long.

I spent 45 minutes on a cardio machine with a TV in front of me—with what appeared to be an unusual amount of crimes involving men killing women/children.

I want to feel pity for him...but the man almost died because he failed at carrying out basic tasks needed to keep his body functional. If he struggles to keep himself alive, what did he expect from her?

That is a scream for attention.

Ditto. I just lost my Great Granny a week shy of her 102nd birthday in May after a year of being bedridden and suffering.

Sadly, one does not even have to cosplay to get grabbed. I was groped/goosed at Origins...and I was just wearing a f%^$%^ t-shirt/jeans and standing in a line.

I did this back when the FAA was under the infamous “white book” contract that was imposed on air traffic controllers. I showed up on Halloween in full-out gothic lolita regalia, complete with a white wig, platform boots, and a copy of the dress code. I spend the entire day amusing some and upsetting others.

Entitled douchebags who cannot accept criticsm are everywhere. I knew a chiropractor who threw a tantrum and was thinking of suing to get a bad review removed from a site. Beats me if he did, since he was such a terrible person that I stopped talking to him.

Yup, when this happens, I tend to end my part of the conversation and leave. If I am asked why I stopped/left, I make it clear that what I was saying must have been unimportant. If my point is important, I will blurt out, “shut up and listen to me,” or something to that end.

I give free cryotherapy to friends/family in the form of my icy, cold-as-the-touch-of-death hands. It is fun to sneak up on people, then lightly poke them in a warm spot—like the back of the neck—and watch them twitch and flail.

Nah, I don’t really censor myself at work (I transition from foul-mouthed off-frequency to super-sweet on-frequency with no transition).