...What if my hands are normally as cold and icy as the touch of Death himself?

This.

My first thought was,”given he is this good at using his dick as a paintbrush, imagine how amazing his work could be with an ACTUAL EFFING PAINTBRUSH.”

Diatomaceous earth is a good non-toxic dust to lay around the perimeter of the house...the downside is that it is rendered useless when it gets wet.

...and here I was thinking that it was an ex of mine. He wasted the waitress’s time/energy FIVE times—sending her back/forth because the red wine she kept pouring him was not to his liking.

I have a friend who uses big words when he gets drunk—because he cannot be that inebriated if he is speaking so dang eloquently. Of course, it has the opposite effect on me because I find it a hilarious giveaway that he is drunk.

On rainy days, I grab a handful of seashells (from a box I collected while in Florida) and put them in the sandbox in the local park., I slightly cover them so that the rain gives them the appearance of being newly unearthed, and I leave them for the kiddies to dig up.

...Great...so we finally get nice dresses with sleeves, but the cost is that the material has to subtracted from the body of the dress itself.

...I feel the need to apologize on behalf of the US for our “crazy exports” and their shenanigans.

My most effective thing to do was to get rid of boxes/plastic drawers. I had so much crap stuffed into things that would keep them out of sight—when I finally went in with the intent to get rid of the ugly containers, I found TONS of things that could be recycled/donated/tossed.

There is nothing wrong with your opinion, but it may not hold true for others.

I love my dogs too much to feed them these spammy abominations.

...the clear flaw in this theory is that I watch K-dramas because they are far more interesting than our own.

My Dad taught me this when I was a bratty 5 year-old and the lesson stuck.

I was in the unfortunately situation of being “the other woman” to a married man who claimed that they were splitting up. (Long story short, it was a long friendship with mutual attraction , but he got married and I ended up “the one that got away”...when he got married despite his supposed “internal conflict,” that…

It has never gone well for me, but I have the added complicating factor of being a female that makes more money than most of the guys I meet. I figure that offering to split or pay for the bill is polite—especially if I extended the invitation.

I would side with the theory that most people owned far fewer outfits, so the ones that were not used for physical labor looked nice enough to reflect that.

That only works if the individual has the capacity to feel shame. We had a coworker who had no qualms about eating others’ food—and when one guy lifted a friend chicken box to reveal his name written on it, this thief has no shame to feel—he just grunted and continued eating.

Green smoothies with lots of leafy greens. After a few months of making the smoothies daily, my nails and hair were significantly thicker. (not to mention the other benefits of ingesting a bunch of raw fruits/veggies daily)

Screaming/wailing at a bear that is distracted by something inanimate...and filming it on her phone. She is danged lucky that she wasn’t killed for being an idiot, with the video to be her “legacy.”