It’s no problem. I understand the perspective of people saying that it’s harmless fun (because that is what it looks like to me, too) but without stringent rules about consent, the things us kinky people do can very easily stray into neglect, exploitation, and abuse.

Look. Kink is fun. I do it all the time. In fact, the guy I’m seeing right now likes to wear a collar with a little bell on it and it’s cute af. But in BDSM, everything you do must be based on consent of all involved. It doesn’t matter if it’s non-sexual, it has to be consensual. People in public spaces haven’t…

First, I kind of wanted to address the idea that it might not be sexual. I’m a kinkster, and I can only speak to my own experience. But the whole idea of a “fetish” is that it’s a pretty non-sexual thing that, for whatever reason, becomes sexual for those involved in it. Even if it isn’t explicit, it’s still sexual to…

Wait, wait, wait. You’re comparing this guy, when he was a kid (even if he admitted that he knew it was wrong when he did it), molesting his sisters to some imaginary event you think Gawker covered? That’s a real sound debate you have there, buddy. But let’s just say it was true. If we take your obvious hyperbole as…

Some people like to do what’s called “pet play” in BDSM. Usually it’s different than bestiality or furries - bestiality is real animals (so not cool) and furries generally wear full-body suits (it’s another kink and is, in general, harmless) Pet play can involve wearing things like collars, tail butt-plugs, and even…

Sorry about that

That’s exactly what my worry was. No, it’s not going to hurt anyone, but the whole basis of kink is that everyone involved is consenting. Involving strangers without consent is definitely iffy to me.

Yeah, in my experience, women who enjoy pet play tend to play as “kittens” but puppy girls aren’t unheard of. Same goes for kitty boys. It all looks like harmless fun to me, although I do worry sometimes that kinksters are trying to involve non-consenting people into their play. The whole basis of kink is that…

I get what you’re driving at, but I think you’re missing some of the nuances here. When I’m arguing the “men controlling women” point, I mean that there is a system currently in place that values men more highly than it does women. Women can be agents of this system (through internalized misogyny) even if they are…

She’s also been really open about her process on this album. Basically the whole thing is about one of those shitty guys you get hung up on for an embarrassing amount of time - and finally getting rid of him.

First of all, plenty of people are talking about the other characters in the movie.

Yeah, like that but...you know, safe (no chains to suspend someone from the ceiling, for example). You could have different rooms too, with different themes. A club I used to go to had themed rooms. One was like a horse stable, one was like a doctor’s office...I mean, if you’re into the roleplay stuff.

Yes. And some special archives for some really old first editions that, of course, I’d be able to afford.

Same. I know it’s a cover but I feel like singers keep taking her song titles. First Taylor Swift with “Shake it Off” and now this one -_-

Obviously we know that we have a better chance of being attacked by someone known to us. But that doesn’t mean, as evidenced by this example, that it never happens. We get attacked by strangers and by people who are known to us. What do you think the solution to that is? You bring up this idea to derail the current…

I’m not sure I’d make that jump. Without knowing exactly what the cause is, we can’t know for sure. It might have been that he was having some kind of episode where he didn’t know where he was and, say, walked out into traffic. In that way, he would have been a danger to himself or others without being violent.

Judging from your other comments, you were saying that you think a remark on gender stereotypes was simply to “score some cheap points” rather than to point out that this is part of a larger pattern of violence against women. I just pointed out that, regardless of mental illness or other circumstances, you can’t…

See, at first I’m inclined to agree with you, but we don’t know what the mental illness was and you can’t go around painting all mentally ill people as potentially violent. If we knew that this guy had a mental illness that predisposed him to violence, it would be different, but that’s just not the case.

That show is pure gold.

Of course, and as I said, I think that’s a valid criticism. I think if we got enough people emailing Jezebel about this problem, they would try to include more stories on the issue.