gurl learn to fan flirt stat

Hell yes to earrings, heels, and wine! I’m pretty great with hair, but I don’t really know where I picked it up. My aunt taught me to French braid, but I think the rest came from watching all the ladies when my grandmother took me to the salon with her growing up. My nail polish skills are shit, but I can do some mean…

Today the fun lady thing I am good at is getting out of bed and coming to work (just to read Jez all day) even though I hate this place, and making a last minute decision to throw on a necklace so it looks like a give a damn.

I’m awesome at having short hair that is incredibly easy to take care of and looking fierce without makeup. My fancy shoes are zebra chuck taylors. I like you and your ideas.

I think it was posted because it’s going get a gazillion comments of women talking shit about themselves about standards that are stupid anyways. I mean all these comments are so similar! My takeaway is that we all hate wearing heels, and that winged eyeliner is a needlessly specific eyeliner style, and anything…

I totally suck at petit pointe, mending, knitting for our poor soldiers overseas, playing the harpsichord, flirting from behind a fan, organizing my dance card and making blanc mange. Ladying, why so hard?

I have really hooded eyes with a downward tilt at the out edge, so wings and cat-eyes are SO not happening. It ends up looking like a sad clown.

My “bun” is: loop a ponytail holder around my hair, twist it, and don’t pull the hair all the way back through. But I have velcro-curls so things tend to stay put when I stick them in there.

1.) Walking in heels. Cannot do AT. ALL.
2.) Mastering any hairstyle (beyond my usual go-to ponytail) that doesn’t end up being flat as hell
3.) Trying for that second day, unwashed look that instead translates as greasy
a.) Hair - how to use dry shampoo properly
4.) Unable to braid my own hair
5.) How to do pencil eye…

As a Sephora girl, I am ashamed that I cannot do winged eyeliner. Doesn’t matter if I use tape or special liner intended for wings or WHATEVER. I cannot do it. I also can’t do black smoky eyes. Purple, fine. Brown, better. Black? Racoon.

whats the difference between an Expat and an Immigrant? an Expat is white.

I was like that when I was younger, too. Now, I’m like DO NOT EVEN TALK TO ME WHEN ON VACATION I AM TIRED DO NOT MAKE ME WALK DO NOT MAKE ME DO ANYTHING

But what I don’t do is look down on strangers.

smoke a bowl before each attraction.

Is she bathing in the blood of virgins?

She looks like an insanely glamorous Bond villain!

Obama was FUNNY! But what made me laugh even harder were the pinched, humorless faces of all the old white guys in the audience. Poor babies.

Ah, two of my favourite places! We are going back this summer, but with kids...so that should be interesting.

I’m a “traveller” versus a “vacationer”

I agree with you about striking a balance between clomping and chilling. Also, a lot of it depends on whether or not it’s your first visit to a place. Everyone likes to talk about getting off the beaten path, but I think the first time you visit a place as iconic as London or Paris, if you leave without seeing at…