What? "Open?" Huh? He FAKED HIS DEATH.

Not only did you provide me with a single concrete target to project my fears and insecurities and Orientalist desires upon, you gave me someone to compete with, which is what I was implicitly doing every time I put my ideas to paper. I was trying to prove my eloquence and brilliance to someone whose own eloquence and…

There's a very hilarious (disturbing?) interview with Brian Fuller where he is talking about a scene where you could see the butts of two of the murder victims on the show (the "angels"). He was told that he could not show that much "skin" so they poured a shit-ton of fake blood over the ass cracks and, boom!,…

ETA: Now with Dutch subtitles!

Spartacus = male nudity win. Damn, I miss that show.

So, you can sit there and pretend that this is gross or sociopathic, but you should really see it for what it is. An effective way of hooking up with girls that is replayed every weekend by every single guy out there

I love how 5 and 6 are self-explanatory, but 4 is not. GET HARD.

I guess it's not rape if you make out first?

I didn't think that was very self explanatory...

First I read this:

Firstly, the deep and unrelenting lack of self-awareness in your post is thrilling. I have seen you post in numerous threads where it is clear that you bypassed reading the source material for the Jezebel piece or watching the imbedded videos and instead launched into a semi-related, yet entirely unfounded opinion. …

BRB drafting my open letter to Hugh Jackman re: I will jump right in the pool.

What is with the quotes around "readers"? That's not how quotation marks work.

YES, EXACTLY. Except, I think I also feel a tiny bit of rage. Because of the injustice of his handsomeness. Like, he's keeping to much of it for himself!

Hey folks, this is one of the times where you don't have to preface your sympathy for him by saying, "I hate him but" or "He's a douche but." This is one of the times where you can just be angry and sad for him even though he's Chris Brown. He was raped when he was practically a baby and that is disgusting. You can…

Okay, so Chris Brown is not my favorite person. But somebody revealing that they were sexually assaulted in third grade isn't time for snark, y'know? The fact that he's bragging about it just shows how screwed up we are when dealing with the issue of female-on-male sexual assault, and his coping strategy fell in…

So basically the headline should be "Chris Brown was raped at age 8". I feel sick.

Chris Brown has done some shitty things and made some shitty songs, but this is sad. Having sex when you are in the first grade and finding a way to internalize that is upsetting, but certainly not something we can or should hate him for. Whether he says he was wanting it or not, that will affect a person and their…

Chris Brown has a singular talent for making it impossible to sympathize with him even if he’s recounting a vaguely traumatic incident from his childhood. You know, like that time he lost his virginity to teenage girl. When he was eight.

"vaguely traumatic"? The hell, Doug Barry?