I’m fucking terrified guys.

“30-year-old”

Clowns are not people!

This has been, hands down, the best celebrity scandal since Solange kicked Jaz-Z.

And now, it’s also “he didn’t play the song for me” as if knowing the percussion playing behind the line would totally change how she feels about the lyric.

No, I think Brianna is legit sick- she had her thyroid removed a few seasons back and she’s talked about struggling with her health.

If you are willing to vote for Trump just because Bernie didn’t get the nom means YOU DON’T ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN ANYTHING BERNIE WAS DOING.

Ugh. I’m a carnivore but I’ve put myself on a 2 year plan to go vegan, starting with eating vegetarian 2 days per week. Thanks for kicking my schedule up a notch today, the slaughter and mayhem needs to stop.

#mood every time Lindsay Lohan comes across my screen.

I worked with her once. Immediately following I wrote her into my death pool. I lost obviously. (and that’s a good thing of course but dammmmn she was looking rough at the time)

You realize that all having a gun in your home does is make it more likely that you or your family will be shot right? Nothing about having a weapon in the house makes a person safer. The opposite in the vast majority of cases. And it gives volatile people a quick non-personal means to fucking murder people in the…

Everyone is a responsible gun owner until, you know, suddenly they aren’t.

who are these women who can go a whole week and save their blowout? do they not workout? if they workout, do they not sweat? do they not sleep wrong and wake up with the cowlick? how do they go outside in the summer and not turn into a damp rag?

Work obligations or otherwise. Even the most sheltered stay-at-home mom cannot (and should not ) spend 100% of her time with her children.

omg now I’m thinking about her children’s future complaints about how embarrassing she is

Seriously! I don’t blame the kids for missing their mom, but her having a job is not gonna permanently damage them. Her not doing anything but sit and stare at them while she slowly went bankrupt probably would, though. It’s good for kids to learn that they aren’t the entire world.

Yeah, it’s kinda sad but kids almost always want more Mom time. Unfortunately, mom has a job. That happens every day to millions of kids and most of them turn out okay. It’s not exactly “sad memoir" material.

...is this really that weird/depressing to the parents out there?

That’s what I keep wondering when I see the “US is next!!!” from these folks. Did we become part of the EU and I missed it?