Well I have a lot of practice using one hand on the computer while doing something fairly strenuous...

The Knicks were eighth in assists that year, but first in passing the rock.

Shut up

he’s 62 years old but has the body of a man half his age

In my head, I just hear "mimplees."

There's more than one way to eat a rhesus.

Don't do it in Florida, though.

In terms of unknowingly disruptive things entering Arthur Ashe, this ranks second.

I'm a USC alum, and I'm disgusted that you'd wish that fate upon children.

Those so-called journalists are so unprofessional. Saban made it very clear what they were to ask about, but they apparently feel like being "reporters" at a "press conference" entitles them to cover a story directly pertaining to the football team. Some people...

Ugh, the caviar is served on *metal* spoons. That totally ruins the taste!

Tight-Fitted Leathers Props Up Weiner After Embarrassing Flop

If i lifted 460 lbs i would make a bronze statue of me doing so and i would stare at it when i masturbate.

My mama chases them off the porch with a broom.

If he's really a vampire, those corking his bat rumors might get him in some trouble with PETA rather than MLB.

What about rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and…

Well that just depends on how much money you make. You can have access to the best health care in the world here. It just isn't available for everyone. They use sweeping stats to determine "best" for an entire country. Whereas, if you have good insurance/money, the quality of treatment may be better here, people with…

It's a Ken-ife!