Rex Ryan said Quinn is NFL-starter material and other teams were stupid for releasing him... it probably won't be long before he's putting a foot in his mouth.

She practiced going the requisite 2 miles per hour by driving from Tampa to Miami with her blinker on.

James started to feel a bit light-headed and woozy after hearing the news he had been fired, so he retreated to the nearest unlit closet to rest for a few hours.

Baby Got BAC

Fucking amateurs

Says Lee: "If you have a spare toe, hey, we need one."

How many NCAA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

How I dress for totally awesome foam parties:

The field now holds the title of second-most-watered-down Coors.

Nobody thought to ask the Bridges who's an expert on burning?

How would you feel about vejazzling?

No wonder our infrastructure is in such dire straits

The Bridges of Los Angeles County

Jeff Schwartz: [types feverishly]

Orange has a long history of trollishness. Not because she says things I always disagree with (sometimes I quite agree with her general points), but because she says almost everything in the most divisive, offensive, hyperbolic way possible, and completely fails to recognize shades of gray or nuances of truth.

Feminism…

I've always said that if municipalities like this claim that they want to not be part of the greater republic, then so be it. Cut them off from all services and tax benefits. Give them nothing. Hell, put up checkpoints on the roads that they have to cross to even get into the US. And if any of them crosses…

Also some Cheerful trivia, the house in Austin I rented was once supposedly her home. Good times.

A synonym's just another word for the word that you wanna use

Well, if she can't pull off Janis Joplin, I'm absolutely sure she has the talent to pull off Jackie Jormp-Jomp.