Well how else would you deal with a porchmonkey? I applaud yo mama.

You sound like my relatives from the South. They also hate coons.

Free market! Free market! Except, of course, when it doesn't suit us. Then, we're a bunch of commies.

wow, he might actually have to clean out the console of his vehicle to pay for that.

That's exactly the sort of hate that will make Megyn Kelly spell her first name correctly. Don't push it, people.

I'm from Louisiana, and I'm convinced the 24-hour liquor has something to fucking do with it.

Holy shit. Genius. Now all we need is to find out where all the white women are at.

Whatever. As a transplant to Appalachian Western Maryland I'm just ecstatic to see the Steelers, Redskins, Ravens and WVU lose in the same weekend. People around here look as sad as if their cousin couldn't get hard.

True story: My wife was pregnant and we applied for Medicaid. Denied. She went into labor 2 months early and the hospital asked us "how are you gonna pay?" We straight up said "we're not." The hospital guy went away, and voila! we suddenly got Medicaid. Funny how that works.

I can't wait to see the "I ate fast food my whole life" commercials. Holy shit, the town I live in alone could film about 15,000 commercials for that. And there are less than 20,000 people here. How long until the fast food industry falls like the tobacco industry? Ever? Are their lobbyists ever going away?

Wait, what? Seems like you kinda shifted gears there.

EGR ain't nuttin to fuck wit.

Here here. There is most definitely a two-tiered health care system in the US.

-19

Open the door, get on the floor. Everyone make that dino sore.

How about "my no-no spot?"

An athlete cheating? Why, that's just unheard of!

Yes, Dr. Ruth. Why can we not just trust pop culture to raise our children while we stay on facebook all day? The nerve of these people.

Interesting. None of the fat kids I went to school with ever lost weight; in fact damn near all the thin ones got fat. Also, you often see white people talking about rights for minorities, and men speaking up for women's rights, but it's funny how you never see a thin person arguing that obesity is okay. Why is that?…

Proud to be the exception to the rule.