As a Cardinal fan, these little shits can fuck off. Tommy Pham is awesome, if only for his name and the fact that he does something for a living that very few are skilled enough to do.

Question: Here in Cincinnati there is a regional cuisine referred to as “Skyline”. Is it acceptable to call it “Scalini” as some hammerheads around here do?

I’ll see your vegemite and raise you durian. Fruit that smells and tastes like landfill smegma. Surely loathed more than vegemite.

Their fruit beers especially are great.

I’m a Steeler fan living in Cincinnati, and I can tell you the slow burning fury from all the Bengals fans at work the day after that playoff game was life-affirming.

Let’s look at the actual names behind the the other two major sports (suck it hockey):

AND NOW, STARTING AT DEFENSIVE END FOR THE CREATION MUSEUM, WILLLLLLLLLIAM HAAAAAAYES.

Let’s be straight up here, Drew. Samer, as a New England sports fan, has shit on his hands all the time whether he knows it or not.

The dialous was simply “there and back.”

Here you go Buster - this is how to slide.

I’m not certain, but you probably could have used the words “Eckstein” or “secret weapon” in the first full paragraph of your post roughly 17 times.

“You can’t be sad while canoodling with a BLL, it’s impossible.”

It’s one thing for Deadspin to be consistently siding against the Cardinals. It’s another for them to be also siding against President Cool Lester Smooth, although much more obsequiously. Keep up the good work - we’re all counting on you.

Steve Chabot, pumpkin-headed bastard. I had the distinct pleasure of driving past him as he stood in a cold, blustery drizzle on the western end of the Western Hills Viaduct on November 4, 2008. He somehow managed to lumber as he waved, forlorn, his bad combover flying back over the wrong side of his head. I gave him…

Vontaze Burfict helmet-to-hoodie hit

The most believable thing in this column is that Emmitt Smith knows AJ Daulerio’s name.

MARVEL TERRAX

“If you have ever used all eight hamburger buns perfectly in one sitting, then you are Batman.”

My beerfest buddies and I follow all but one of these precepts - most importantly numbers 1, 4, 6, 12, and 14. My glorious wife drops us off and picks us up when she gets my drunken text.

I don’t know why more people aren’t criticizing David Wright for taking that ball - it was hit right to Flores, who could have easily thrown out the runner while Wright covered third, forcing Hosmer back to the bag. Instead, no one was at third to hold Hosmer, and he took full advantage of that. The Mets made loads of…