But it’s in the Bible... I inherited the slaves... My wife inherited the slaves... I personally disapprove... They’re better off on my plantation... Wait until the Liberian colony takes off... They’re not developed enough yet... After they’re more civilized... Slavery will die out naturally on its own in less than a…

Because the military pays for the anthem to be played, and in 2009 started paying the NFL to force players out on the field (they used to be in the locker rooms during the anthem). It’s some serious propaganda shit.

“Show me on the doll where Danny DeVito’s wife touched you.”

• There is a difference between “good black folks” like the victims Tharpe murdered and “niggers.”

For the record:

We’ve always called it “Teacher’s Friend.”

The beauty of it, nobody even has to “acknowledge systemic racism.” This is white people being asked to voluntarily answer yes/no questions and then getting preemptively pissed off.

Growing up in the South (especially poor or lower middle class), it’s not called “soul food” or “Black food” or anything else like that. It’s just called “food.”

Ironically, the new It isn’t even a movie about scary clowns; it’s a thinly-veiled allegory about bullies and bullying.

“Can I measure your tree?” is one of my favorite bits of absurdism, and the PBS episode is some of the funniest shit I’ve ever seen in my life, period.

“Cops & mobsters” is redundant. 

Or maybe not standing during the national anthem? Oh, wait.

Did the kid come out with horns? A second asshole where its mouth should be?

She didn’t break the law, genius. Her parents did.

Example that freaks me out: in spring 2016, many in Likud explicitly supported white nationalist Trump (a guy associated with actual, living, breathing Nazis) over Sanders — a Jew. The hollowness of the Israeli right wing could not be more clear.

If you weren’t an atheist before watching the video, you will be afterwards. God is surely dead.

We (Nevada) stopped executing people for twenty years because of a gas chamber “incident” in the early 90s. Instead of falling asleep and dying because of the gas, the inmate took twenty minutes to die, screaming the whole time. He ripped out of his restraints, tore the hood off, tried to scratch his own face off…

I’m not going to get into it on a Friday afternoon, and I agree that nobody should have to constantly qualify their statements with SOME white people, etc.

The “petit bourgeois.” 

You forgot “funded by the progenitors and proceeds of the Spanish Inquisition” and even they thought he was a maniac. They fired him at one point. When you’re so cruel and murderous that the fucking Spanish Inquisition thinks what you’re doing is morally reprehensible, you’re a total fucking monster.