I follow gymnastics very closely and all I have to say is:

School fundraisers are the worst.

I studied abroad in Italy in 1999. During our orientation, a very sensible and intelligent professor (by all clear standards) made it very clear to us that if we got in trouble with the law, we were on our own.

Having driven across the country on 99% of my vacations, you sure do welcome chain restaurants in places like Where the Fuck, Iowa. A Red Lobster is heaven sent. I think my parents planned trips around where Steak n Shake was available.

Yuneisky Betancourt.

I have never had that issue of listening to my turn signal because my car is equipped with the ability to play music.

It's been gone awhile, but I always liked Wake Up Deadspin — I like those summary stories about sports news.

What's Happening in Colorado?

I know it's the right thing to do. He's sick and in pain. But I just want him to better. I don't want to lose him.

I have a black lab also. How do you know when it's the right thing to do? My greyhound won't eat, can't walk, but I look in his big brown eyes ... gawww.

Tomorrow, I have to take my wonderful greyhound in to the vet for the last time.

Indeed, maybe in another life.

I, too, devoted myself to some neglected yard work. I managed to cut the grass and line trim the ridiculously high weeds in my backyard without injuring myself. Did 3 loads of laundry and vacuumed. I went to the grocery store, cooked my roommate dinner, and walked my dogs. How mundane! I'm now watching the recorded…

Fair enough response, and you definitely get at the key points of my irritation.

Oh, and while I'm whining ... oh God fucking traffic.

Oh, Cobra! Yes, the minor details of my life are so important.

As Deadspin taboo as it is, it's a little known secret that I coach lacrosse. I've spent the last three days (in 95+ degree weather) running lacrosse camps so that the fine young people of Colorado can turn into the lax-iest lax bros/gals as possible. It's such an awesome sport. How did this mentality develop? I hate…

Not really. It was evidence of my lack of understanding in regards to Kinja vis-a-vis my poor fantasy baseball draft choices.

I have no idea. I drafted some cat named Al Alburqueque and I don't even know how to spell that.

It's a joke.