i expect alot of "chalk" to be tossed in celebration

"[Cleveland]they are willing to do whatever he says. we got AJ bc he wanted a stretch pf . he didnt like coach brown we fired him and brought in a run and gun coach. Also part owner of the Cavs is in China meaning lebron is marketed in china bringing in more money endorsements. and we have his bird rights so we can…

"I am not trying to bribe you but I'm the athletic director of the University of Georgia so i can get the herschel walkers to beat you up"

"For all of you who don't know, there is a Jewish law where, when your wife has her period you are forbidden from sleeping with her during her period and for 7 days after. "

@lastingsmilledge: i cant tell if you're being sarcastic or if we live in fucking space times

@Delonte, Interrupted: you're looking for "A Peoples Treasury of Drunk Children" by howard zinn

almost didn't recognize the guy in the last one, not used to see him with clothes on...and not masturbating furiously behind ihop

@PimpMyCouch: no, but he insisted on chewing on the condom

""My co-worker's friend hooked up with Patrick Kane last week... and took a picture to prove it."

i prefer golden states new alternate "jumpman" logo

if jake delhomme didnt under-throw the receiver, smith wouldnt have been in position to make a play. even in death delhomme continues to haunt steve smith.

jesus its been like 2 months, someone should really clean up that vomit

"No I have not gone limp wristed, its common knowledge that coke orgies do not count" he said. "I am dating Veronica who is blond and 31-years-old."

I'm pretty sure you're not allowed to let herpes touch the flag.

apparently maradona just purchased this to better his chances with jemele hill

meth chic scarjo

@ClintonPortishead: wait, when the fuck did you lose your star. jesus h christmas.

"All of a sudden [Headley] stepped out and I was like, 'What's going on?' He was like, 'It's an earthquake. You don't feel it?' I was like, 'Man, I didn't even feel it. like oh. my. god."

jeff samardzija's curse is lifted!

@Ken Gryphon Jr.: guys, guys settle down, EVERYONE from the south is ugly