Did you hear that? All the Phillies are going to be masturbating with coconut oil next season.

If only I could give this more stars.

- The National Anthem before NFL games

Songs that should never be played again, an incomplete list:

Good for J.T. It’s about time some right wingers started protesting.

Impressive that the bar tried to pass the Dutchie on the left hand side.

I was thinking, and maybe I’m not looking in the right places, but I’ve seen remarkably little criticism of Pop considering how many times he’s spouted off like this. Sure makes you wonder...

His lawyer argued, to no avail, that he presents zero threat to the public safety, given his stolen base numbers.

Even Schindler’s List 2: Electric Boogaloo?

Dom, stop editorializing. You couldn’t find a picture without Beats to use in a story about alleged battery?

“‘Anything’ 2, Electric Boogaloo” always gets a star from me. Anything.

If you loved Buttfumble, get ready for this season’s sequel - Buttfumble II - Electric Boogaloo.

Jon Snow totally drew those cave pictures himself.

how can they have standing, they don’t have any legs

Can I just call you a judgmental, homophobic cunt instead?

Nope The Tea Party was formed cause we had a President who wore a tan suit with black skin.

This comment somehow seems too thoughtful and intelligent to belong on deadspin.  

I hope a little perspective from a current Wolfe County resident would be appreciated.

My family is from War Creek, KY, right in Breathitt County. My dad remembers riding a mule to get to his grandfather’s house, while his folks had to walk on the unpaved and undrivable road. We had shiners and revenuers both in the family, but the family reunion was an armistice, since the organizer is a tee-totaling…

I mean, this whole thing might sound pathetic to a lot of people, or it might be fodder for think pieces to other people.