Ugh. Why does that not surprise me??

Even if he was, that would have only exacerbated his abusive tendencies, not CAUSED them, and the media is generally TERRIBLE at making that distinction.

At the same time, mandatory arrest laws sometimes deter victims from calling for help, as they don't want their partner to be arrested. It's just one more way that dealing with DV is tricky, and why more education of first responders is so important.

Thank you for this link, and also for your kind words!

Jedi hugs to you both. The world still has a long way to go in embracing and helping us, but thankfully there are helpful resources available, and we can anonymously support each other in forums such as this. I've found that every little bit helps. :)

Yes, having a less-than-helpful therapist can be a huge deterrent. In my experience, finding a solid therapist can take a few tries, but it is soooooo worth the effort. And the thing about PTSD is, the symptoms consist of common things like depression and anxiety, and unless the therapist identifies the PTSD and…

But how do you still draw that conclusion after reading that the police had been to his house for a domestic disturbance between the two of them just two hours prior? Unless she left after that incident and then broke back into his house in order to HIDE IN HIS BATHROOM (?!?), that no longer makes sense now that this…

My parents abused me, causing my PTSD, and my abusive ex exacerbated it, so I can relate to that seemingly irrational desire. If you're not getting help for your PTSD, please seek it out. As the other commenter mentioned, treatment for PTSD has come a long way. One thing that helped me tremendously was meeting other…

Yes, I want to learn more about her. My heart breaks that much more when I read about her efforts to raise awareness about violence against women. It's very sad that she wasn't able to protect herself. (And I don't mean in any way to imply judgment or criticism. I, too, am a survivor, and I understand the complexity…

I'm not sure that he hid it that well, so much as our misogynistic society excuses the types of things he did up until this incident. Stories have come out about how he threatened to break another man's legs out of jealousy over a woman, as well as evidence that there had been previous domestic incidents at his home.…

I was just having chatting with another Jez commenter the other day about how we both cowered in bathrooms to get away from our abusive exes. I'm hoping that she wasn't in fact terrified of being murdered, but rather just trying to get some space from him. Not that it changes the outcome, or that we'll ever know, but…

Thanks. Yes, it's been nearly two years now, and I'm starting to feel human again. Likewise, I hope the person who had you escaping to the bathroom is ancient history now.

Yes, thank you. We'll probably never see such headlines, but at least I can tweet that summary of it to my followers, which is something.

Yep, same here. As far as I'm concerned, he's sobbing for HIMSELF, and he's playing it up to drum up sympathy among the public and the justice system.

I could see that. When my ex would be particularly nasty (and his nasty included gaslighting, emotional cruelty, explosive rages, and brandishing a pistol during arguments - UGH), I'd hide in the bathroom so I could cry and shake off the upset without also having my pride wounded. That was definitely the low point of…

Yeah, my abusive ex (explosive raging, gun brandishing during arguments, etc.) has an ex like that. They have also been "on and off" for years now, including when he's cheating on current partners with her (including me at one time). In my brief contact with her, it became evident that she sees nothing at all wrong…

Augh. I had a roommate with that attitude. She and her fellow fashionista grad schools friends were sitting around aggressively lamenting one such couple one evening. She was downright *disgusted* that this "smoking hot guy" was going out with an "average" girl. It was.... gross.

Um, how is actively choosing to NOT support Brown's work at all consistent with aggressively defending Hugo's work??

Ouch. Now that you mention it, I had burns and what looked like at least one layer of skin seared away. Someone else mentioned asking for cooler wax, but it doesn't seem worth the risk. It's frustrating, though, as I have super-furry brows. I have to tweeze every day to keep them tamed - it annoys me when I spend the…

I was all of 12 when I was introduced to it by an older sibling. We had horribly abusive parents, and the "church" claimed that they could help us with our situation. I was impressionable and idealistic about "saving the world" at that age (well, I'm still an idealist, I'm just much more worldly now!), and they…