Touch this fuckpad.

This is a slightly expansive reading of the word ”famous.”

I actually have more respect for a guy who steals from sick kids than a guy who goes to Power Rangers conventions.

It’s the “I Got Mine” school of politics. Unless there someone in her family struggling with it, she gives no fucks. It’s like a politician being against abortion or gay rights until someone in their family needs one or is one.

Bugle Boy Polo Shirt isn’t a shirt for a dapper man, or a suave man, or a man who values his appearance. It’s a shirt for a man who has resigned himself to dad-dom, so much so that he goes on a nationally televised cooking program looking like a children’s mannequin from 1993 that was hit by Rich Moranis’ enlarging…

He’s tried to make me geaux to rehab
I won’t geaux, geaux, geaux.

The Clinton audible means the ball is going to the left.

Short-form Foodspin trailer

These are all from me.

That’s a pretty optimistic injury outlook, ESPN.

Up until about, oh, ninety seconds ago I was a firm opponent of the death penalty.

The day Deadspin doesn’t run tabloid shit is the day we all quit and get jobs as brand consultants or baristas or whatever.

Wow, that’s fucked up. He made a mistake, sure, but he doesn’t deserve to have his basketballs ruined.

Boxing. That being said, if the right people are judging, dying mid-fight might not prevent me from winning.

Thank goodness he's ok - it would have been really ugly if he dyed.

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Sweet Chin Music is great and I used to to think it was real. But i was wrong. It is fake therefore lame. Only the stunner is real. And therefore #1.

Funny how that works! When I was working at REI during my undergrad, I used to road bike around town a lot, so I bought a custom made Timbuk2 messenger bag. This is when they were still made in SF, and it still looks way too good to be over 10 years old now!

Funny how that works! When I was working at REI during my undergrad, I used to road bike around town a lot, so I…