I was not aware Matt Jones legally changed his name.

Huh. How 'bout that? I always just lumped "tan" into one unappetizing flavor.

11. Butterscotch hard candy

No, it's called perspective. Phil Knight has threatened to pull millions of dollars of funding for Oregon's facilities before because the university had teamed up with an anti-sweatshop organization. The football program was literally built on the backs of slave labor.

Slavery? No, no. If you want to know what actual, current day slavery is like, visit the people that make the shitty shoes that bankroll the training table where you shove more calories down your fuckin' gullet in one sitting than they see in a week. Then you'll beg to have your ACL torn for my amusement.

I think a lot of those quotes were just MRSAnterpretted.

I imagine you should consider yourself lucky that, after you eat this, you live long enough to die of cancer.

"I'm here for the Gyro Ball."
-John Kruk, dressed in a tuxedo

I was about to post "Who the hell plays single player anyway?". This was a good answer to my pessimistic question.

God, I wish everyone would stop talking shit about I.T.

-Whiskey Blackout, Bachelor's of English, 2007, The Ohio State University.

This might sound like a dumb question but what happens if you wreck? I mean, do you just die?

I believe your name and mine have met before.

I will look at Warhammer 40K art all day if given the opportunity.

Sigh. Hopefully this is all gone next year but I feel like we're into some sort of other unknown, bullshit territory that we just have yet to discover.

If you're using conference rankings as the metric of who the best team is that would mean Alabama was the third best team in 2011 when they won national title then, correct?

They finished ahead of every team that wasn't Georgia or Alabama, so apparently they were better than 5th in the SEC.

They manged to finish 6th in the nation which means apparently everyone else thought they were, at worst, the third best team in the conference. Would you say that Alabama was the second best team in the SEC in 2011?

I don't believe I said that. However, it seems teams that were never successful in the Big 12 are finding success in the SEC instantaneously. Why would that be?

On the flip side, Texas A&M and Missouri combined for one Big 12 conference championship yet Texas A&M was immediately the second best team in the conference their first year in the SEC and Missouri is almost a lock to playing in the title game seven weeks into the season this year.

Spoken like a true Kentuckian.