Do you think they use lower voltage in pre-season tasing?

Ejected Chiefs' Fan: Don't taze me, bro.

Yes, all of the other players who played in this series hit three home runs, too.

Finch: [Signs with Twins]

To be fair, the student in question is Brandon Weeden.

He's a man! He's 40!

Mixon is said to be facing the maximum suspension possible for violence against a woman, or 2 games.

What kind of blocks? We're not exactly sure.

Overrated list makers, Ranked

Let's just play one inning today.

Immediately afterwards, Dan Snyder came in and polled them on whether or not they thought The Washington Redskins name was inappropriate.

No lengua or head meat, Albert? Please revise headline, as it should read Gringo Taco Meats, Ranked, you awful hater of offal.

No chorizo or lengua makes this list horseshit.

That's the biggest damn basement I've ever seen.

When that prompter turns off, she turns into Kyle Mooney. Seriously, that's just how she talks.

At least we finally know that the drapes do, in fact, match the carpet.

Reporter: Mr. Els, do you have any response to Tom Ley of Deadspin, who offered the following advice to you after your disastrous three-putt: "Next time, try to take things slowly and do less putts."

I think the real trophy is the outstanding education each and every one of these student-athletes earn at their respective NCAA® institution of higher learning.

"Oh, wow. Thanks. But this is still as close as we'll ever get to it."