It took me until this suggestion to realize that this was all an April Fools joke.

Unfortunately, holding the line on pricing will only shift the exorbitant markups to the second buyer, who will buy from the scalper.

The best way to begin is by only using the clutch and brake pedals on a flat parking lot. First gear only until you get the hang of it. Don’t even touch the gas pedal.

Rob, we don’t even deserve you. Thanks for giving us something to look forward to everyday.

Like a rock.

So Neil Young made $0.004 when I listened to Rockin’ the Free World yesterday? Maybe $0.003 after taxes? I can live with that.

Yes! I’ve seen the pickup bed phenomenon as well, and it’s mesmerizing sometimes. I couldn’t think of the movie, thanks for posting it.

I lost a headlight this way. This giant sheet of ice flew up like 2 or 3 stories high off of a Transit Connect. I watched it flutter in slow motion wondering where it would land. It was beautiful. Like that plastic bag that flies around in that one movie? Except it smashed my headlight. I suppose I got off easy.

I believe you’re right. Or it’s what gets delivered to dealers.

I’m with you on this one. If the lanes are full and everyone is keeping a reasonable distance, the person who tries to weave that mass of cars and cut in is surely an asshole. I’ve seen plenty of those.

Oh, so you don’t drive faster than posted limits? Or do you drive “the right amount” above the limit? I sure would like to know what that right amount is.

That’s a completely different story. We’re talking about people in the left lane with no one in front of them. Those doing the Lord’s work to rid the world of evil, and the police’s work to discourage crimes.

Using your vehicle in an aggressive manner to prevent traffic from flowing is more of a “crime” than someone speeding slightly more than you do.

George Carlin had a skit about that years ago.

Exactly! I think that’s the source of a lot of the anger. People think “What makes you think your trip is more important than mine?” Maybe it is! Like you said, maybe it’s a hospital run. Or maybe they’re just late for work...again. But who really cares? They’re in a bigger hurry than you are. Just let them go.

Right. Because by having a terrible car crash, we’ve taught him a valuable lesson in driving that will prevent a future terrible car crash? Maybe that future car crash would never have happened but if it did, couldn’t he learn the lesson then?

That’s a hilarious take. So good men block people from passing them if the good man is driving “fast enough”? So noble and selfless!

Some tailgaters are a—holes but some are just exasperated drivers who would like to drive faster than the traffic in front of them and can’t understand why they won’t move. I don’t understand why anyone would care that someone wants to drive faster than they do. It’s not some insult to you and your family if someone…

I’m always floored by the left lane pace cars who think their job is to police the roadways to the proper speed. Which, ironically, is usually something over the speed limit but less than what you want to do. I assume their own traffic studies have proven their speed to be the safest and most efficient.

You’re the problem. At least you understand that.