Wow, thank you so much for all of this! I have been a perfectionist all my life so I can relate very much to what you said.

good lord. he can't have his cake and eat it to, sheesh!

Don't wait to break up with him. Do it now. By staying with him you are kind of perpetuating this false image that everything is ok, when it's not. You want out anyway, it's going to happen sooner or later. I think you should choose "sooner" and not "later."

No red flags and overall pretty good, but to me you're coming across as a little apathetic, maybe negative in some places. There are points where you talk about your hobbies as just things that keep you entertained, and it sounds a little like "this stuff is better than being bored". Even if that's how you feel, you…

Fixed schedule for cleaning? Serious. My sister has that with her husband, and it's written on a dry erase board in their kitchen so there's no excuses for eschewing.

I am 101% sure that both messages are negs from PUAs. If you copy and paste the text into google, you'd probably find them on forums for bodybuilders and lonely farts clubs.

He wants a gymnast who is "well over 6 feet"? I don't think he knows what a gymnast is.

Look at that puppy!

I am so sorry, because this is excellent advice, but: I really want a significant otter, too.

Yup, based on my own experience that 'dead inside' feeling is indeed the advance forces of depression stomping on your soul. Exercise sometimes works, but it is often sensible to book a chat with a professional psychotherapist (heck, talk to your priest as well, if you keep a faith).

I feel....something. I don't know if it's mild depression or something else. I don't feel sad and I don't feel like I don't want to do anything I normally like doing, I just feel.....like everything is pointless. I guess maybe I feel a bit numb. Not sad, but not happy either. I'm just here. I feel like I'm waiting for…

Just started following Saved by the bell hooks.

Soooo here's a message I just got on OKCupid from a guy in India. Please note that I live in New Jersey, and am not vegan, subservient, blonde, blue-eyed, a gymnast, from Sweden, etc.

I've never broken a law more serious than jaywalking so far as I know. And I don't associate with criminals. How does that keep me safe if someone sees me (a large black man) and decides I'm suspicious and calls 911? How does that keep me safe if a cop decides I resemble a suspect, panics and kills me? How does…

As a black woman I would ask that you not tell me what to do. I know you think you're helping, but you're not. That was seriously the most condescending response a white person could make and I actually can't believe someone actually waded into this thread to make it. It's like white people can't even try to treat…

You're missing important pieces. The police, who are trained to find the suspect, went into the wrong apartment. That's their mistake, regardless of whether Aiyanna's uncle was guilty or not. It was also being filmed as part of reality television, which is why they used the flashbang and went in with SWAT gear and…

The horrifying scene was captured by a television crew who was filming an episode of the A & E series The First 48, a true crime reality show.

No, it was the grandma. Dangerous grandmas are a serious issue in the inner city.

These are time times I wished I believed that there was a hell for people to burn in.

yes but the black woman who fired a warning shot to get rid of her abusive boyfriend? STOW HER AWAY