I can't even muster the slightest bit of discomfort from this. I. Just. Cannot.
They're like a fart joke, all of these dudes - you don't want to laugh at them, but it's just so goddamned silly, you can't help yourself.
I just don't know these guys. And if there is the slightest chance that I actually DO know guys like…

Aahahaha, mine have slowly traveled up my crack when walking, and peeked up... Try to keep a straight face when that happens.

If I can suggest something? Don't put it on your underwear. Put it very lightly between your legs right before pulling your underwear up. I've never had a problem.

That's a fair point. I've used TP in a bind, but it doesn't stay in place very well. It's come out of my underwear and fallen out of my pant leg.

NOOOOO WHY DID YOU BRING ME HERE TO SEE THE BAD TYPOGRAPHY. PENNY. PENNY. PENNY.

And now I will dive deep into a Unicorn Sweater wormhole. Because I'd rather do that than fold laundry right now...

Waiters are paid less than minimum wage on the assumption that they will get tips during their shifts.

You know what the minimum wage for servers is around $2.00 an hour, right?

Isn't Kym Worthy the prosecutor that was fighting to get all the untested rape kits in Detroit processed? She seems like a badass. She gives me hope that this case will not be the fucking travesty of the Trayvon Martin case.

My very first cartoon crush, Ren from Pirates of Dark Water. (a show that I'm sure most people have probably forgotten about)

I have the hots for Prince Phillip.

Prince Phillip from Sleeping Beauty. Around the time I turned 16 the movie was on rerelease, and my mom ate a gazillion Happy Meals till she got the Prince Phillip toy to stick on my cake. I have the best mom ever.

" if you can use "dialectical materialism" in one sentence then I would expect that you also know to capitalize "Germany" in the rest of your paper"

Ask the teacher to send you a copy of one of this kid's other writing assignments. Post it to Jezebel with your name on it.

Exactly! And the reason I am teaching this class rather than taking it is that I earned a fucking Ph.D. Don't even start to entertain the delusion that your online research skills can match mine. I will bury you.

WOW. They should just force this kid to take a bunch more classes on race and gender, I think.

Well, at least he isn't sorry only if he offended you.

I've heard of a case where protesters were stopped because of friends of the clinic. The number of protesters (you could expand this to calls, etc) were counted and people donated a small amount based on these numbers. The more protesters, the more money was raised. The money was used to help women in need to pay for…