TARIFFS.

TWO DIFFERENT GUYS!!!

Two whole “people” said their superpower would be to fly so they could beat traffic. That was the specific reason. I’m starting to suspect they all sat around the casting room filling out the questionnaire and copying each other’s answers.

Yep. All of this.

Good jesus I just pictured the world in which women are forced to carry unwanted pregnancies to term, give those babies up for adoption, and then the kids are born with microcephaly.

Any minute now, Louisiana will also pass a law requiring women to wait 72 hours before getting a tattoo, and the woman will have to view an artist’s rendering of the photo after the skin has sagged and wrinkled with age. That bill will be bundled with a 72-hour waiting period prior to declaring a liberal arts major…

YES AMEN PREACH.

You probably get your overblown hyperbole from the liberal media. More on this at 10 PM, after our breaking news story, “Cotton Swabs: Too Dangerous To Keep In the Home?!”

internally screaming forever

I genuinely suspect that considering he gave this interview to a male reporter for the Times, it didn’t really cross his mind that he was speaking to both women and men. I think he was on male-only autopilot. So it would be more like:

I once got hit on in Greece, on a beach, in coldish (55F) weather by two middle-aged, dad-bodied men in black speedos wearing gold chains.

Ugh, I would never feel comfortable with any law mandating that a woman have an abortion, but I can’t see any scenario in which a 13-year-old child can reasonably be expected to carry a pregnancy and give birth as though she made that decision entirely on her own. I want to find the person who gave her religious…

My jaw was hanging open in horror halfway through this story. So glad you had the presence of mind to seek a second opinion at PP. So glad PP existed for you. So glad you got away from the asshole and found the life you deserve. And FUCK these places for preventing other, less lucky women from finding the same.

You know how we / some of us tune in to watch Game of Thrones, and Ramsey Bolton does something horrifying, and we all complain that the show writers are too over-the-top?

.

Yeah, I’ve got to agree. What could he possibly say to Sansa to make her trust him again? She begged him not to leave her with the Boltons, he left anyway, she suffered terribly, and now she has a protector who’s sworn only to do her bidding. What can Littlefinger offer that Brienne can’t at this point? I bet that…

SERIOUSLY. This is exactly how it should have gone down. I knew he was alive, but I really wanted them to work so hard for 2 more episodes that I...just...maybe...allowed myself to doubt it...a little? And then Tormund announces we have to burn the dead, and they build the pyre, and not only does Jon walk out to…

Ooh, ooh, let me translate!

NOT ANYMORE YOU’RE NOT. Tormund + Brienne is now the most important ship ever shipped. MAKE THIS HAPPEN, HBO.

According to the Internet, he got $1 million for cameoing in The Hobbit, so I think he can afford it, even if he spent the rest of it buying gold flake vodka for the pussy posse on Ibiza.