Last year I had a brief incident in an Argentine airport because I tried to bring boleadoras in my carry-on. You say dangerous throwing rocks, I say shiny souvenirs.

It sounds like he’s already on his way to prioritizing you over G. That needs to be 100% his decision - if you have to push and prod to get him to set boundaries, then they aren’t truly boundaries he wants to set, and that’s going to bite you in the ass. But the good news is that it sounds like he does want to set…

Immediately went to look it up. You’re not the only one who’s pissed - lots of 1-star reviews:

If ever anyone deserved a comeuppance, it’s Simcoe. He’s as hate-watchable as Joffrey or Captain Jack Randall.

Do not return a damn thing. Put it back in the box, shove it under the bed, and regift each item back to the giver next year.

I’m going to echo what others have said: I’m proud of you. Your family has put you in an impossible situation, and it’s unacceptable of them to keep offloading all of their bullshit onto you.

That depends! What kinds of shows do you like an what kind of mood are you in?

Goddamn you, I did not see that twist coming. Ugly cry for sure.

Contemporary life means being hyper-aware and worse off than ever; we are increasingly shut out of the mechanisms of representational democracy and simultaneously being forced to know more and more and more. We know many rape kits are backlogged in all the big cities, how many black teenagers have been shot by the…

Hmm. The way you’re presenting liberals doesn’t ring true to me as someone who identifies (mostly) as liberal. (I’m assuming you’re not a self-identified liberal because of your phrasing in your comment above, but obviously I could be mistaken.)

Thank you for sharing this. I somehow missed the precise details the first time around, aside from the fact that she was sodomized. I hate that this happened, but I’m glad I now know it happened.

“The Great Teleporter Riots of 1996” is my new favorite thing.

Apparently the traffic cone was deadspin and the merkin was gothamist.

I’m determined to make this next year’s March Madness bracket.

I have been dreaming of this for months. Somebody please make this a Thing.

I think someone used “wonka factory escapee” early on and didn’t want to retread old territory.

I am still pulling for next year’s Jezebel March Madness to just be 32 of these insults in a battle to the death.

Enraged rapidly-dissolving Mentos mint in a bottle of Fanta

I clicked on this post specifically because I needed this question answered. Thank you, kind Internet stranger.

Based on the fact that the accused and the judge had a good 20 minutes of private conversation, I’m guessing it was more of a “million of my dollars to one of your dismissals!” defense. Justice is blind, stupid, and for sale.