Ugh, what a shitty situation. No judgment on you at all, just hugs of support. As for advice, I’d suggest making two lists, a Prediction and a Plan. In your Prediction, write down all the things you expect to happen - she’ll get her tattoo, her friends will take her money, she’ll use your sympathy for her son to wear…

I think it’d be totally reasonable to say, “I hope I never say anything disrespectful about the military, but if I ever do, please let me know that I offended you so that I can try to understand your perspective.” If he's really a great guy, he'll appreciate how hard you're trying. If a guy said something along those…

I am descended from Mad Anthony Wayne, an officer in the American Revolution with a penchant for leading bayonet charges in the dark.

Oh, but he’s extremely competent! Never misses a beat, never has an awkward moment...

I've encountered some very shady taxi situations pretty much everywhere I've lived/visited. Examples:

Badass. I read this in my best Dos XX voice. “I don’t always puke myself, but when I do, I prefer to be flying a helicopter.”

Oh how perfectly awful. I would like that man to lose his license; no one that dismissive should be in the healing field.

Anyone who works with kids and doesn’t respond to bathroom/sick warnings like a 5-alarm fire deserves to be puked on. Kids don’t know their bodies well enough to give you 20 minutes warning; if a kid says “I’m sick” that puke is already locked and loaded.

You deserve a motherfucking medal. I dry heaved just thinking about it.

I recommend cutting it in a spiral, like a cinnamon bun or nautilus shell. Then accidentally dropping the icing-covered knife on the floor and going, “Teehee! I have no idea how to use sharp objects! The sharpest thing I own is a nail file! Which end of the knife do I grip again?”

I love my plaids, but even more I love our crest: a half-naked warrior brandishing a broadsword, gesturing at a crown, and shouting "This I'll defend!" Translation: "Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got, I'm still MacFarlane from the block, so bitch step off my diamonds or I will cut you."*

Yay, reasonable discourse!

Speaking in generalities, and specifically for the US (can't speak for the rest of the world, though I'd guess perceptions are similar across the board):

I know it's been a month, but thank you for this response! I will definitely take this advice, starting with an avatar that is not a sad brown pixel pile.

I...hmm. I really like the first part of this comment, specifically "They could not possibly be so innocent that they did not understand the meaning of a middle age man flying all the way across the country to ask their daughter to fly away with him." We're agreed 100000000000%.

I got food poisoning on vacation in Peru and had a dysfunctional digestive system for 3 weeks. I normally vacillate between 145-155 lbs, but I was 135 at that point and feeling icky and skeletal.

I agree with you that harnessing the lowest common denominator of the Internet and getting them to give money to charity has its benefits. But this line is where we part ways:

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa no why

Call me savage but I'm okay with a good old fashioned, middle-of-the-road compromise: maiming. We don't want to kill you, but we can't lock you up? Congratulations, that means you are losing a limb. You're a doctor, so the plus side is we won't take your hands, but the downside is that one of us lesser-qualified folks…

I see what you're saying, but I agree with the author that setting up your tools, outlining, creating a schedule, etc. are valuable tasks that can drastically streamline your work efforts.